Rogue White and The Seven Mutants
by Rogue238
Summary: Raven and Lightning Present the evotised version of Disney's Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Just a bunch more fun. rated T, just to be safe. dedicated to KyoKitty. Finished! Please Read and Review.
1. Preproduction

**Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men or the other cast of X-Men Evolution. I do not own Snow White either. I've heard rumors about Marvel and Disney. . . I do own Raven, Rachel, Twinkle and Lightning.**

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**A/N: For those of you who have not read Sleeping Beauty (with Rogue as Aurora and Remy as Prince Phillip) or Remy Hood (with Rogue as Maid Marion and Remy as, you guessed it, Robin Hood), it isn't necessary to, but here are the things you need to know. Raven and Lightning are time travelers from another dimension, where Rogue and Gambit are married and Raven is their daughter. She has a little sister named Rachel. Oh, and Kitty and Piotr have a daughter who is code named Twinkle.**

**Typecasting may be a little off on the Dwarfs, but I'm doing the best I can here. I was going to update my serious fic, before I started writing this. I've even got a good three pages of it done, too, but this keeps bugging me. . . so here we go. . .**

This story is dedicated to **Kyo-Kitty**, for inspiring it. Thank you. . .

* * *

And now, Raven and Lightning present . . .

Rogue White and the Seven Mutants.

Preproduction:

Rogue grumbles as she walks into the studio. "Anotheh stupid play? What is with all these stupid plays?"

Remy just laughs as he follows her over to the directors' chairs. He reads the names on the back.

"Don't tell me. . ." Rogue whines, "Please just don't say _they _are coming back. . ."

"Remy won't say Raven and Lightning are returning, t'en," he smirks, "Even if it is true."

Rogue picks up the copy of the script. "Snow White? Oh, good night! They gonna put me in anotheh stupid princess outfit!" She shoves the script into Remy's chest.

"Mais chere, You look tres bonne in t'ose dresses."(1)

"Don't start with me, Cajun!"

"Sheesh!" Kitty says, as her and Piotr join them. "The play, like, hasn't even been, like, cast yet and you two are already at each other's throats."

"We are not!" Rogue and Gambit yell in unison.

Scott, having just walked in, hand in hand with Jean Grey, starts whimpering like a baby.

"You can do this Scott. I know you can." Jean tries to comfort.

"Synchronized Sentences. . ." he mumbles, trembling.

"I'm here."

"And so are we." Raven says lightly, stepping out of the shadows with Lightning, and startling everyone there.

"Don't do t'at!" Remy says.

"Whatever you says, Pops." Lightning says lightly.

"Don't call him that!" Raven groans.

"Yes, dear," Lightning says flatly, not wishing to get into a major fight so early in the play.

"Where is everyone?" Raven asks, annoyed.

"Coming." The entire cast shows up about then. This makes Raven smile, which scares everyone more than if she was scowling.

"Now, then. No filming today, only casting." Lightning says.

"Let me guess," Jean groans, "Rogue gets to play the pretty little princess. . ."

"Surprisingly astute, today, Jean," Raven grins evilly. "Which is why we changed the name to Rogue White and the Seven Mutants."

"Ah am not talking in that stupid squeaky voice!" Rogue declares, making her daughter shudder.

"Please don't," Lightning pleads.

"Now, that _that_'s settled," Raven begins. "There are much fewer parts in this play, so. . ."

A loud cheer erupts from the crowd of mutants and non-mutants before her. Raven hates to be interrupted. Lightning, knowing this, starts backing up slowly. Raven grabs a deck of cards from Gambit. "Hey!"

"I ran out," she tells him, taking out the Two of Spades and charging it. The card lands in the middle of the crowd and they scatter as it explodes. "Now then, all of you who do not receive parts will still be required to be here as the stage crew and special effects team." The cast groans loudly and Scott shudders again. Raven uses her telekinesis to hit him on the back of the head with a roll from the buffet table. "Snap out of it."

"Now then," Lightning starts. "Gambit will be Prince Charming. Sorry, it's a small part."

"As long as Remy's still ma chere's love interest, he don't care."

"Don't call me chere!" Rogue growls.

"Funny how you don't mind when we're alone," smirks Remy again.

Rogue just covers her head with one hand and shakes it. "Lousy Swamp Rat."

"Ahmm," Raven clears her throat. "Mystique. . ."

"I get to be the evil queen. . .right?"

"Correct as usual, King Friday." Lightning jokes. (2) "Logan, you get to be the Huntsman."

"What? No chicken costume this time?" Logan says, amused.

"No," Raven returns. "Scott, I hope you'll be satisfied with a smaller part this time?"

"Do I get beaten by Pyro over and over?"

"No."

"Then, I'm fine with it." he nods.

"Okay, then, you are the magic mirror." she says.

"Rahne, you get to be, drumroll please. . ." Lightning says, while Pyro creates his much needed drumroll. ". . . a wolf!"

She rolls her eyes. "Gee, didn't see that one coming. . ."

"The rest off the animals will be played by Forge's Incredible Animatronic Robots," Raven says cheerfully. "They shall be known from here on out as IAR's."

"There is still the part of Prince Charming's horse," Lightning says evilly, pointing to the same costume used when Scott and Bobby played the part of Samson in Sleeping Beauty. "Ray gets to be the head." Bobby hides. "No use, Ice_boy_. You're the tail."

"It's Ice_man_! Ah, can't you give a guy a break?"

"No." Raven answers as if that was the stupidest question ever asked. "Now, the dwarfs. Forge has come up with a nice little shrinking machine to make the seven lucky dwarfs two feet high." Everyone who doesn't have a part yet tries to run, but are held in place by Raven.

"We are also changing the nicknames of six of the dwarfs." Lightning tells the frozen cast members. "Hank, you get to be Doc, and yours is the nickname we are keeping."

Hank nods, and starts trying to accept his fate.

"Kitty, you will be Happy." Raven calls, "And we will call you Kitty."

Kitty sighs, but accepts her fate. It could be worse after all. . .

"Tabby," Lightning says, "you will be Sneezy, aka Boomy for this play."

She groans. "Can I blow stuff up when I sneeze?"

"Yup."

"Okay then, I'm happy." she grins and several people get scared.

"Dopey will be played by Evan," Raven continues. "Who will be called Porky." (3)

"Dopey! No way! I'm not stupid!" Evan argues.

"You'd think he'd learn," Raven says to Lightning.

"Nope, he's too stupid." he answers.

She lifts Evan up to the ceiling and lets him drop. His bone plates protect him just enough, but he's in a considerable amount of pain, owing to the fact that the ceiling is a good thirty feet high. "Now then, you are a high school dropout who no one likes, correct?"

"I like him," Ororo says.

"You have to," Raven says. Then, she turns back to the broken heap that is Evan on the floor, "You live in the sewers and are too stupid to know when to keep your mouth shut, correct?"

He barely nods.

"Then, you will play whatever part I tell you too!" she shouts.

He nods again.

"Okay then, Lightning?"

"Yes, now, Toad, you will play Grumpy," he says, returning to the mission at hand, "also known as Toady for this play."

"Why? I'm not grumpy, yo." Toad says confused.

"I know," Raven says, "But I just want to see the others give you a bath."

"Bath?" he gulps. "Did she say 'Bath'? Help me! Someone help! Please!"

Avalanche laughs, "Can't wait to see that one, myself."

"That leaves Sleepy, who will be played by the lovely Jean Grey," Lightning starts choking from laughter.

"What is so funny?" Jean asks, noticing everyone else, besides Scott, is also laughing, even Raven, a rare sight indeed.

"He, like, he . . ." Kitty tries, but can't get it out.

"He called you lovely!" Pyro squeals, insane laughter following. "Don't tell me she won't get a nickname, either!"

"No, she has one," Raven says, being the first one to calm down. "It's snobby." This causes those people still laughing to laugh even harder.

"That's not very nice!" Jean says, highly offended.

"No, and neither are you, so we'll leave it at that." Lightning says, finally able to breathe.

"And the last Dwarf, Bashful, will be played by Kurt," Raven says. She shrugs. "Sorry Uncle, but it was the last part and I wanted to have you called Fuzzy."

"Ah, it's okay. At least I have a part at all." He says in his cute German accent.

"That's the last part?" Wanda asks. Raven nods. "No extras?" Raven nods again. "Hip-hip-hurray! No evil dresses for me!"

"I think you looked pretty good in that one you wore in Sleeping Beauty," Pyro says.

"You would!" she snubs, before sending a hex bolt into his butt.

"Ouch! Hey, that hurts!" he begins to run as Raven releases the cast members from her psychic hold. Wanda chases him around shooting him with hex bolts. The stage is starting to be destroyed.

"This is why I never start filming on the same day as casting. . ." Raven trails.

She looks around. Rogue and Remy are arguing again. This time, amazingly, it's only about how much Cayenne pepper to put into Seafood Gumbo. Piotr and Kitty are hiding behind a rack of costumes, making out. Lance is slowly moving the rack away for everyone to see. Toad is chasing Wanda who is still chasing Pyro. Duncan and Taryn are trying to escape. Jean is trying to comfort Scott, who is crying for fear of what's to come. Kurt is hanging from the ceiling. Evan is still lying where he fell. Ororo is trying to tend to his wounds. Xavier and Magneto are arguing loudly about the nature of humans versus mutants. Ray, Roberto, Sam, and Bobby are fighting, while Rahne, Jubilee, Tabby, and Amara watch and laugh at them. Mystique is trying to read something on her laptop. Sabretooth and Wolverine are demolishing everything and everyone else.

Raven shakes her head. "Why do we keep doing this?"

"Rabid fangirls." Lightning says.

"Oh, yeah, now I remember. . ." Raven shudders, "Squirrels and dead chickens. . ."

"Yeah. . . but we can go now." Lightning says, extending his hand.

"Lets." She takes his offered hand and they are gone. As are we. . .

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A/N:

(2)That would be from Mister Roger's Neighborhood, which I do not own either.

(3) This nickname was born mostly because of Cat2Fat900, who claims it was my idea. . . lol

Well, I hope you all like the casting, and the arguments. I have so much inspiration for this one, even though it's one of my least favorite Disney movies. So please review to get the first scene. . .

**Translation:**

(1) "But dear, You look very good in those dresses."


	2. Scene 1: Magic Cyclops

**Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men or the other cast of X-Men Evolution. I do not own Snow White either. I've heard rumors about Marvel and Disney. . . I do own Raven and Lightning.**

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Reviews: (Aah! Seven reviews on the first chapter! Aah!)

To Rogueyroo: Thank you very much.

To Heartsyhawk: lol. I don't like it either, but there is this one joke, that couldn't be denied. . . So here it is. Snow White's voice could make someone jump off a bridge. Ah, what Lightning calls Gambit. . . hee hee part of the whole fiancée thing, usually he just calls him Mr. L, though. I think Gambit missed it. Thank you.

To Kyo-Kitty: My inspiration for this fic. Thank you so very much.

To Crash Slayer: Thank you very much. Glad you are feeling better. I have trouble sleeping a lot too, especially when crazy plot fairies are driving me nuts. . .

To sheisbeautiful-sheisnotme: Thank you very much

To Cat2Fat900: Yea! You aren't leaving till the 14th. :) Our MEV has returned btw. Vacations. . . I absolutely hate this movie. But this fic will not let me rest. . . It says "write the cyclops joke, write the cyclops joke. . ." lol. Yeah, right, you pity Rogue? For wearing a dress. . . uh huh. . . Synchronized sentences are so much fun. Yes, they were alone at the beginning of the last chapter, he called her chere, she said nothing. . . (not to mention the coach in Remy Hood). I liked Mr. Rogers when I was a kid, and when he died I was so sad. I mean, he's better than say, Barney. . . I was watching Snow White to get the list of characters and the notes for the first scene when I realized something. Dopey gets beat up a lot. I remember saying Porcupine, but I didn't save the e-mail. Lol. Yes I know they are zombie chickens, but zombies are dead after all. :) See ya later at SFWD and other meetings. Boy, we have a lot of meetings.

To Anime-needy: The Little Mermaid has already been done (as a Jott) yes we can all throw up now. Seriously, I just got so sick at the thought. It would be a funny Romy though. . . Thanks for the review. :)

A/N: Here begins the most beloved. . . yeah right, I can't even finish writing that line. Here's probably the most HATED Disney movie ever: evotized. . .

This story is dedicated to **Kyo-Kitty**, for inspiring it. Thank you. . .

* * *

And now, Raven and Lightning present . . .

Rogue White and the Seven Mutants.

Scene 1: Magic Cyclops

Raven and Lightning are whispering over their director's chairs as Rogue comes out in her first costume. He glares at the ragged dress coldly and walks up to them. "Do all y'all realize this is the _best looking _dress Ah've worn in these plays yet?"

Raven grins. "It can't be _that _bad."

"Yeah, at least there's no pink in this one," Lightning says.

Rogue groans.

"I personally can't wear pink," Raven says lightly. "Naturally red haired people never can."

"I happen to like you in pink," Lightning says, "or yellow, or blue, or _anything _besides black."

"Oh, so now you don't like me in black?" says Raven who is wear a black halter top and black jeans.

"I didn't say that."

"You said that very thing!" Raven growls.

"Can we get back ta _my_ problem!" Rogue shouts.

"Ha, we'dbehereallday!" Pietro says, speeding by.

"Don't talk about ma chere like t'at!" Remy says, attempting to punch him, but missing the speed demon completely.

"Ah'm not your _anything_, Remy LeBeau!" Rogue screams back.

"Maybe not in this dimension. . ." Lightning mutters.

"Well, in case ya haven't noticed, ya annoying little bug," Rogue growls, "Ah ain't from _your_ dimension!"

"Are you going to let her talk to me that way?" Lightning asks Raven.

Raven looks as if she's in deep thought. "Hmm, Lightning or Rogue. Fiancée or Mother. Boyfriend I'm angry with, or Mother who I'm not angry with. . . Boyfriend who nothing can happen if he gets upset with me, or Mother who will ground me and perhaps beat me to a pulp if she ever finds out I helped you and not her back home. . . This is really not looking good for you right now, Lawr."

"Can't we just get started then?" he sighs helplessly.

"As soon as _someone_ gets the book," his girlfriend replies.

"Right on it." In a flash, he's back with the book and places it on the maroon cloth-covered pedestal.

"Lights!" Raven calls and the lights come on as if by magic. "Camera!" and the camera comes on as if by magic! "Action!"

The camera focuses on a rather ornate looking book with the words "X-Men Evolution Presents: Rogue White and The Seven Mutants," printed on it. The book opens by way of Raven's telepathy. Inside are printed these words, "Once upon a time there lived a lovely little Princess named Rogue White. Her vain and wicked stepmother, the Queen, feared that someday Rogue White's beauty would surpass her own. So, she dressed the little Princess in rags and forced her to work as a scullery maid. Each day, the vain Queen consulted her Magic Cyclops. 'Cyclops, Cyclops, on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?' and as long as the Cyclops answered, 'You are the fairest one of all,' Rogue White was safe from the Queen's cruel jealousy."

The camera focuses on a castle set on a distant hill. Then it zooms in closer until it focuses on a window. Then on an empty room.

"Scott! Where are you?" Raven shouts angrily.

"I'm not going to get on that hook!" he shouts.

"Fine. Sabretooth!"

Sabretooth smiles evilly and grabs Scott and hangs him on the hook by his collar. Scott gasps. "No, no, no." Lightning says, shaking his head. "Use the belt. We need him to be able to speak." Sabretooth repositions him.

"Thank. . . you. . ." gasps Scott. Sabretooth throws a blanket over him. The blanket has an embroidered mirror on it.

"Much better." Raven says.

The camera focuses on the now-not-so-empty room. Mystique comes in. She is wearing her white dress with the skull belt and a black, flowing cloak with a crown on her head. She looks as regal as a blue assassin can. She walks to the blanket-covered Scott. "Slave of the Magic Cyclops, come from the farthest space, through wind, I summon thee. Speak, let me see thy face!"

Scott pulls the blanket off ans a burst of flame consumes it, thanks to Pyro. Bobby puts the fire out before it gets out of hand. "What wouldst though know, O Queen." Scott says, deciding not to comment on the ridiculous nature of the speech.

"Cyclops, Cyclops, on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?" she says.

"Jean." he replies, making Jean blush fiercely.

"You are supposed to say me!" Mystique growls, placing her hands on her hips.

"Actually, he's supposed to say Rogue!" (1)Raven growls, just as fiercely, with her hands on her hips as well. They are quite the fearsome sight, both blue shapeshifters with glowing yellow eyes, well Raven's were glowing. . . and red hair, Raven's in curls. "Now, Scott, I was already in a bad mood, thanks to _somebody_," she glares at lightning. "And your attitude this scene is _not _helping! Say the lines like they read in the script before I _make_ you!"

"Okay," Scott gulps. "Um, yeah, Famed is thy beauty, Majesty, but hold! A lovely maid I see. Rags cannot hid her gentle grace. Alas, she is more fair than thee."

"Alas for her!" Mystique says angrily, crossing her arms. "Reveal her name!"

"Lips red as the rose, hair with streaks as white as snow."

"Rogue White!" she says offended. The camera fades out to black.

It fades in to Rogue in her rags and a red bow tied around her head, separating her white streaks from the rest of her hair. She is scrubbing the steps and humming a love song while she dreams of Remy in his swim suit. She doesn't think anyone knows what she's thinking, but at least three telepaths in the room snicker. She is surrounded by IAR doves. She sighs at the water and stands up. She empties her bucket of water on the steps and walks to an old well, overgrown with pink flowers. The IAR doves follow her and land on the well. She starts to pull the bucket up. The pulley squeaks. "Wanna know a secret?" Rogue asks the IAR doves. They nod and coo. "Promise not ta tell?" The IAR doves nod again. "We are standing by a wishing well." She starts to sing, "Make a wish into the well. . ." The birds look down into the well at Rogue's reflection. The well echoes her song as she wishes for the one she loves to find her today. Next she hopes and dreams of all the nice things he'll say. The well echoes that wish too.

Meanwhile, Remy is riding the Ray and Bobby horse outside the wall. The front end of the costume jumps up as Bobby decides to cool it down. Remy gets off the horse just before Ray retaliates by electrocuting Bobby.

Rogue is still singing into the well, staring down into her reflection. Remy, dressed dreamily like a prince, walks up next to her and joins her in singing the last word, "Today!"

This takes Rogue by such surprise that a startled, "Oh!" escapes her lips.

"Hello, chere." Remy says. "Did Remy frighten you?"

Rogue doesn't answer him. She just turns and runs into the castle very primly.

"Oh, that was, like, really good Rogue! How did you ever run like that?" Kitty asks off stage.

"Simple, Ah pretended Ah was Jean."

"Back to the play, people!" Raven calls.

Gambit yells, Wait! Wait, please!"

Rogue shuts the door with a slam.

So, Gambit does what every young lover does when he is shut off from the girl of his dreams. He starts to sing, "Now, t'at Remy's found you hear what he has to say. . ." And his song continues with telling her that he has one song only for her.

She peeks out of a balcony window and starts to take the song to heart. Rogue is secretly thrilled at the sound of him serenading her. She hugs herself happily and then looks at her rags. She smooths them out and her hair as well before walking out onto the balcony and staring dreamily at him, which almost makes him forget his lines.

He is now singing of one love that has possessed him and he truly means it, for little crosses Remy's mind lately other then the lovely goth. She smiles down at him shyly.

From another window, darkness threatens to separate the two young lovebirds as Mystique watches them angrily. She shuts the curtains and walks away.

Gambit continues to sing and as the song comes to an end one of the IAR doves lands on Rogue's finger. She smiles at it and sends it flying to Gambit's finger. The IAR dove blushes and then pecks Gambit softly on the lips before flying away. He watches the bird in wonder and then looks up to the balcony.

Rogue smiles and blushes as she shuts the curtains.

"And cut!" Raven calls. "You people will be the death of me!"

"Oh come on, it wasn't that bad," Lightning says.

"That's just because they're so much in love they don't have to act!" she shouts.

Remy smirks. "Remy'd try to deny it, but he can't."

"Well, _Ah_ can!" Rogue growls. "You take that back, Raven, right now!"

"Okay, now she's starting to sound like you mother," Lightning says walking slowly backwards. Raven right beside him.

Pietro laughs from the sidelines and Rogue turns to face him in anger.

When suddenly, Forge runs up, "Uh, guys? I think there might be a few quirks in the IAR's."

"Like vhat?" Piotr asks, with his arms around Kitty.

BOOM! The IAR doves all explode.

"Like that?" Forge says in a small voice.

"Forge!" everyone yells and starts chasing him around. And I find this a good place to leave. . .

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A/N: (1) And there it is. . . The joke that started this entire fanfic! Lol.

I hope you enjoyed this first scene and the Romy bits. Next up. . . Logan's big and only scene. . .


	3. Scene 2: The Huntsman

**Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men or the other cast of X-Men Evolution. I do not own Snow White either. I've heard rumors about Marvel and Disney. . . I do own Raven and Lightning.**

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Reviews:

To Heartsyhawk: Lol. Glad you like this so far. Lol. Can ya just see Scott hanging from a hook with a blanket thrown over him? Thanks so much. :) Yeah, perhaps, but I have a few other stories itching to be written first. . .

To Kyo-Kitty: Thank you so very much. I'm not doing a Disney movie next. I'm doing Thumbelina, it's going to be so much fun. So many guys, vying for Rogue's attention. Toad, I think will play the Toad. . . lol, no costume. And Pietro will be the beetle. And Scott can be the mole, maybe. I'm not sure if he's worthy enough. Rahne can be the dog.

To Crash Slayer: Thank you very much. I have quite a few on Story Alert as well, lol. Well, as you said, Scott is stupid. . . and if _you_ were dating Jean Grey would _you_ say some one else was fairer and then risk her wrath later? I know I wouldn't, but then I wouldn't date Jean Grey either. I'm not gay, and if I _was _a guy, she wouldn't be my type anyway. That and the fact that I married and completely rambling. . . Forge and children's toys. . . no! Run away! Run very far away! Hope you get some sleep soon. :)

To sheisbeautiful-sheisnotme: Thank you very much

To Cat2Fat900: Barney is the scariest thing ever thought up by any man! Our MEV is taking an awfully long time with it too. Yes, Snow White and Cinderella are my two least favorite Disney Movies ever. But I have a daughter who actually looks interested in Snow White. Ugh. Hmm, Pietro will be sure to take lots of pictures the next time Scott's on the hook. Yup three telepaths without Emma or Betsy, which may or may not show up in ASIR. Okay, so this _was_ Disney's first movie, so it's allowed to completely _suck_. They've really gotten so much better through the years. Technically Forge making huge mistake is not a running joke, it's a reality. He's always messing up in Evo. We do not! Thank you very much.

To Tigerlilly1234: Thank you. I'm glad you and your other selves love to torture Scott with my ideas. Lol. Glad I can make you laugh. Refrigerator? Do I want to know?

A/N: Oi, y'all are so lucky. You only have to read my version of this. . ._ I_ have to _watch_ the _Disney version_ . . .

This story is dedicated to **Kyo-Kitty**, for inspiring it. Thank you. . .

* * *

And now, Raven and Lightning present . . .

Rogue White and the Seven Mutants.

Scene 2: The Huntsman

Logan growls as he walks out of his dressing room. "You know I'm only doing this because it's the only scene I'm in."

"Well, that and the electric shock device I implanted into your collar." Raven says sweetly.

"That too."

"Hey, it worked with Sabretooth." Lightning says grinning.

"Here's your knife," Raven says smiling as she uses her telekinesis to float the knife to him.

"I hate knives." Logan snarls at it.

"That sounds really strange, comin' from you. . ." Rogue says, bewildered.

"Hey," Logan growls, producing his claws, "I have claws! Not knives!"

"Use the claws then!" Raven groans, "And another thing! If you ever threaten my mother again you will spend the rest of your life under the impression that you are a deseased poodle!"

"I hate telepaths. . ." Logan mutters, walking by Charles Xavier. "Oh, sorry, Chuck, I didn't mean you. . ."

"That's perfectly alright." Charles says knowingly.

"Places everyone!" Lightning yells.

"Lights! Camera! Action!" calls Raven loudly.

"Mystique sits on her throne, scowling at Logan. She waves her hand as she speaks, "Take her far into the forest. Find some secluded glade where she can pick wildflowers." She sighs. She hates this part dreadfully, but the thought of Raven broadcasting her deepest darkest secrets has whipped _her _into shape. (1)

Logan glares at Raven and then bows slightly. "Yes, your Majesty," he says sarcastically.

"And there, my faithful Wolverine, you shall kill her!"

"But, your Majesty, The little Princess!" he gasps in utter horror at the very thought. Partly because of what Raven had just threatened him with.

"Silence!" Mystique shouts, standing up. Pointing at him, she continues, "You know the penalty if you fail!"

"Yes, your Majesty," Logan answers with a broken spirit.

"But to make doubly sure you do _not_ fail," Mystique says, holding an ornate box, with a knife through a heart as it's clasp, "bring back her heart in this!" She holds the box out to him. The camera focuses on the box.

The scene changes to a secluded glade where Rogue is dressed as a Princess and she is sitting down , humming the tune to "One Song," and sometimes singing along as she picks wildflowers and dreams of her one true love, Gambit, who is eying her off stage greedily. She stands and Ororo causes the wind to blow lightly, making Rogue's dress, cape and hair blow and she looks like a vision. Even Scott forgets he's supposed to be rubbing Jean's feet at the moment as Rogue stands still and then she moves as she hears the cry of a little baby IAR Bluebird. Gambit has almost fallen on the floor from staring at her beauty.

Rogue smiles as he catches himself and then, she puts her flowers down and goes to the little IAR bird. "Hello, there." She picks the bird up carefully, glancing nervously at Forge. "What's the matteh? Where's your Mama and Papa?" Why! Ah believe you're lost. O, please don't cry. Ah sound like an idiot. . ."

"Rogue, please, stick to the script." Lightning begs.

"Hey! How come when Rogue screws up a line, you asks her to do it, but you yell at us?" Jean asks.

"Because I don't have to worry about _you _being my mother-in-law some day!" Lightning growls at Jean.

"That is _so_ not fair!" Jean pouts.

"Jean, you'll never think _anything_'s fair until _you_ get the lead." Raven groans.

"Well, _when _will I?" Jean says, stamping her foot.

"Uh, perhaps when _I_ am not the director!" Raven shouts angrily. "Now, _back to the play_!"

Logan, who's been watching Rogue from a short distance, while leaning against a tree, stands up, seeing his opportunity. He glances around nervously.

"Come on. Perk up." Rogue is telling the IAR bluebird.

SNIKT go Logan's claws.

Rogue, who can hear them plainly, pretends not to notice and continues talking to the IAR bird. "Would ya smile fer me? That's betteh. Your Mama and Papa can't be far."

Off stage, two IAR bluebirds tweet a little song.

"There they are."

Logan slowly walks closer and closer. . .

"Can ya fly?" she asks, kissing the IAR bird and lifting her hand. The bird flies up. "Goodbye!" It disappears off stage, much to Rogue relief. "Goodbye!" she calls again waving. "And good riddance," she mutters under her breath. A shadow looms behind her and she turns to see Wolverine about to kill her. She backs up, screaming and covers her face with her arms.

With his hand above his head, Logan falters, "I can't." He retracts his claws. "I can't do it!" He cries as he bows down and grabs Rogue's skirt. "Forgive me! I beg you! Forgive me!"

Rogue, calming down, says, "Ah don't understand."

"She's mad! Jealous of you! She'll stop at nothing!" He says wildly, letting go of Rogue's skirt.

"You should have raised it a little higher!" Gambit says smirking.

SNIKT go Logan's claws again.

"Shutting up now. . . "Gambit gulps.

Rogue rolls her eyes while Logan retracts his claws. "But who?"

"The Queen!"

She gasps, "The Queen. Why am Ah not surprised?"

"Perhaps because it's in the script?" Raven says, "The same script you should be sticking to?"

"Uh huh. . ." Rogue rolls her eye again.

"Run!" Logan warns her. "Quick, Stripes! Run! Run away! Hide! In the woods! Anywhere! Never come back! Now go! Go! Go! Run! Hide! Anywhere!"

During Logan's shouts of warning, Rogue has been backing slowly towards the woods in fear. She turns and runs into them. An IAR owl screeches and dives at her head. She screams, worried that it will explode. She runs and stops suddenly when she sees eyes staring at her from the darkness. The eyes belong to twenty IAR bats. They fly and Rogue screams, "What is this, let Forge kill Rogue day?"

Jean snickers. Kitty accidentally bumps into Jean, knocking her down on top of Scott's head.

Piotr laughs and hugs Kitty closely from behind.

"Like, oops, sorry Jean, Scott."

Raven glares at them

Rogue turns to run from the IAR bats and she gets caught in the branches of some trees. She thinks the trees are hands, thanks to Forge's holographic projector. She screams again, because the script says so and runs into the branches of another tree. Again she screams and this time falls into a hole. She catches the root of a tree and holds on for dear life, but the root is wet and slippery. She slides into a pool of water. In the pool are moss covered logs. Her fall creates waves, which in turn move the logs, up and down, up and down. Rogue thinks they are alligators. She screams and runs out of the pool. A heavy wind blows, moving branches, thanks again to Ororo. Rogue turns in circles staring in horror and screaming at Forge's projected eyes. With one final scream, Rogue collapses, wet and afraid, and begins to sob.

"And cut," Lightning calls. "That went well."

"Yeah right, in your dreams," Raven mutters.

"Well, okay. . . The last part went. . . "

"Don't even try," Raven says groaning again. "You people make me crazy!"

"Crazy? Iwascrazyonce," Pietro says.

"They put me in a room," Lance continues.

"A round room, yo." Todd says.

"A Round, rubber room!" exclaims Fred.

"Idiedthere," Pietro says laughing.

"They buried me way down deep in the sewer," Lance says.

"There were rats," Todd says with disgust.

"Round rats." Fred explains.

"Round, rubberrats." Pietro says.

"I hate rats," Lance says smiling.

"Rats make me crazy, yo!" Todd says.

"Crazy? I was crazy once." Fred says.

"That's enough!" Raven, Wanda, Tabby and Rogue all yell fiercely.

"NO!" Scott screams and starts to cry.

"Somebody kill them," Raven shouts, "before I do!"

"I'll be glad too." Wanda growls.

"But I want too," Pyro whines.

"We could do it together?" Wanda asks.

"That sounds good." They turn to the Brotherhood boys with evil grins on their faces.

The Brotherhood boys gulp and begin running. Wanda and Pyro chase them, laughing insanely. Pyro makes a giant headless horseman out of flames and it joins the chase, setting the set on fire.

Raven groans and falls into her director's chair. "Please fix this, somebody. . . anybody?"

Several people start trying to put out the many different fires. Amara finally fixes the problem by catching up to Pyro and turning of the flamethrower.

"Ah, man," Pyro complains. "You never let me have any fun. . ."

"Do I need to take that flamethrower away, again?" Raven asks as one would as a small boy about his favorite toy.

"No." Pyro says, hugging it closely.

"Let's get out of here." Raven begs Lightning, who is happy to oblige. And we will leave as well, before I go insane. . .

* * *

A/N: (1) Way back in Sleeping Beauty. Not that Raven could actually do this because Mystique's mind is a very difficult one to break, but Mystique doesn't know this. Lol.

Hope you had fun. Next up. Rogue meets even more IAR animals and cleans the cottage.


	4. Scene 3: Rogue's Cottage

**Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men or the other cast of X-Men Evolution. I do not own Snow White either. I've heard rumors about Marvel and Disney. . . I do own Raven and Lightning.**

* * *

Reviews:

To sheisbeautiful-sheisnotme: Thank you very much. Sleeping Beauty is where all this madness began.

To Cat2Fat900: Honey, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but you are crazy. And what's worse. . . you know it. And you're proud of it. Lol. Hey, me too! That would be fun, but also scary. There are some people that I just would not want to know what they are thinking. Lol. Yup, adamantium and blood. Yes, poor Kitty. I used to go around saying that whenever people said the word crazy. It just them nuts. :D Pyro needs to learn to behave around Raven. Lol. Thank you very much.

To Tigerlilly1234: Thank you. I think Remy would get the hots for Rogue if she was covered in motor oil and wearing Blob's clothes, but you know, that would be crazy. Crazy? Okay, I better stop now. . . (shudders) Snow White's voice. . . It's driving me mad, I tell you! Mad! I don't know whether to hug Kyo-Kitty for giving me this idea, or strangle her. Lol. Toothpicks, huh? Hmmm. . . ideas. . .

To Jynx Southern Gal: Thank you very much.

A/N: Well, here we go again! I had to stop writing this half-way through because Rogue's dialog was making me (and Rogue) sick. . .

This story is dedicated to **Kyo-Kitty**, for inspiring it. Thank you. . .

* * *

And now, Raven and Lightning present . . .

Rogue White and the Seven Mutants.

Scene 3: Rogue's Cottage

Logan stands back and surveys the scene before. Rogue is glaring at her dress. Jean is pouting. Scott is pretending to care. Kitty is kissing Piotr and Remy is trying to get Rogue's attention. Kurt is chasing Toad. Lance is glaring at Kitty and Piotr. Mystique is admiring her blue figure in the mirror. Hank is reading Moby Dick. Xavier and Magneto are arguing again. Ororo is watering the plants for the set. Blob is devouring the buffet table. Wanda is laughing at something John said. Logan finds that a little odd. Normally she'd be chasing him around by now. Evan is hiding in a corner. Sabretooth is asleep, which is the main reason Logan isn't fighting right now. Pietro is painting the dressing rooms purple and yellow. The New Recruits are laughing at Bobby. Something draws Logan's attention.

Crash! A pot is slammed into Remy's head.

"Ow."

"Maybe _that_ will get my point across, Swamp Rat! Leave me alone!"

"Oh, chere, you wound Remy. . . literally," he says as he rubs his sore head.

"Go chase some other skirt!" Rogue yells.

"Mais chere, you know you don't really want t'at!" he says shocked.

"Are ya so sure, Remy LeBeau!" she growls.

"Hey, Rogue! I'mavailable," Pietro says coming in, covered in paint.

Rogue whirls on him next, "Why is it, just when a girl wants ta be left alone, _you_ show up?"

"It'smyjobtoannoypeople," he says shrugging.

"You do a good job at it, garcon," Remy growls. He reaches back and punches Pietro so fast that he actually hits him.

"Oh Remy!" Rogue says, rather pleased, smiling at him. "Ah think that's the first time ya said somethin' that didn't make me mad."

"What about t'e time. . ."

"Don't ruin the moment," Rogue warns.

"What is going on here?" Raven says as she and Lightning appear out of nowhere.

"Well, you see. . ." Toad starts, before Nightcrawler bounds into him and starts strangling him.

"Never mind, I don't want to know." she says quickly.

"Let's just start the play." Lightning sighs.

"Lights! Camera! Action!" Raven calls.

Rogue lay sobbing on the set as the lights slowly turn up. Forge's IARs slowly start to appear, along with Rahne in her wolf form. The IARs start to surround her, which frightens her but she hides it. An IAR rabbit goes almost to her face, startling her. "Ooh!"

The IARs run away, acting very scared for robots.

"Please don't run away. Ah won't hurt ya!"

The IARs peek out of their many hiding places.

"Ah'm awfully sorry. Ah didn't mean ta frighten y'all, but ya don't know what Ah've been though, and all because Ah was afraid. Ah'm so ashamed av the fuss Ah've made. Could this line _be _any lamer?"

"No. Carry on." Raven answers.

The same little IAR bluebird from the last scene comes and lands on a nearby branch. His parent IAR bluebirds land on the same branch.

"What do y'all do when things go wrong?" Rogue asks the robots.

The parent IAR bluebirds tweet a little song.

"Oh! Ya sing a song!"

The IAR birds tweet and nod in agreement.

Rogue starts to sing a bunch of really high notes. The little baby IAR bluebird echoes and lands on her finger. Soon, Rogue sings a _very_ high note. The little IAR bluebird echoes the note, but it's too high for the machine and it explodes. Rogue glares at Forge, who hides behind Logan and hands Pietro a duplicate bluebird. Raven is also glaring at Forge as Pietro replaces the bird, fixes Rogue's hair, and checks her for injuries. Rogue is fine, but _very_ angry.

The camera starts rolling again as soon as Pietro is done. The little IAR bluebird sings a lower, rather off key note and his IAR parents grimace, but Rogue laughs and begins to sing, "With a smile and a song, life is just like a bright sunny day. . ."

Rogue rolls her eyes and Gambit catches it and laughs. He knows quite well Rogue doesn't believe a smile and a song can make everything all better, and yet, here she is singing a song that says the opposite of how she feels. He calms down after getting a glass of water and noticing the glares his future-in-some-other-dimension daughter is giving him.

During Gambit's laughing fit, all the IARs are getting closer to Rogue, surrounding her and making her very, very nervous. A IAR chipmunk climbs on her lap and she pets the animals unwillingly. She hugs Rahne very close to her out of fear for the younger mutant's life.

As the song ends, the IAR birds tweet happily. Rogue sighs with relief, "Ah really feel quite happy now. Ah'm sure every thing's gonna be all right." The IARs nod. "But Ah do need a place ta stay at night." The IAR Rabbits nod. "Ah can't sleep in the ground like y'all." The rabbit IARs shake their heads sadly. "Or in a tree the way y'all do," Several IAR squirrels shake their heads. "And Ah'm sure no nest could possibly be big enough fer me."

"Actually," Hank begins. "The American Bald Eagle makes a nest that's. . ."

"Uh, Hank?" Lightning asks.

"Yes?"

"Don't interrupt!"

"Oh, sorry excuse me."

The IAR birds shake their heads. "Maybe all y'all know where Ah can stay? In the woods somewhere?" The IAR birds tweet. Rogue stands up excitedly and clasps her hands, "Ya do! Will ya take me there?"

The IAR birds grab a hold of Rogue's cape and start dragging her through the woods. The other IARs and Rahne start pushing her along as well. They go through the woods, over a river and along a path until they reach some small trees. Rahne and a few IARs part the branches to reveal a little cottage. "Oh! It's adorable! Just like a doll's house." She squeals and steps over a log and goes quickly across a bridge.

The IARs and Rahne follow. Rogue pauses at the house. "Ah like it here," she says daintily, pretending once again to be Jean Grey. Rogue wipes a window with her gloved hand and peers in. Rahne does the same, only using her tail instead. Rogue looks shocked. She turns to the IARs and says, "Ooh, it's dark inside."

She goes to the door and knocks twice. No answer comes. "Guess there's no one home." She opens the door and walks in, muttering about how rude Snow White is. "Hello? May Ah barge, Ah mean, come in?" She sneaks in the rest of the way and shushes the animals. A IAR turtle is the last to enter the cottage.

Rogue walks past a stair case and turns around in a full circle before crying out, "Ooh!" The IARs and Rahne all freak out and run outside, right over the IAR turtle. Rogue sits in a little chair. "What a cute little chair!" The IARs return slowly. "Why there's seven little chairs. Must be seven little children, and from the look of that table, seven untidy little children." She stands up and goes to the table. She notices a pickax which is stuck in the table. "A pickax? A stocking too!" She lifts the sock up off the pickax and returns it. She opens a pot and pulls out a shoe. "And a shoe. . ."

The IARs whistle disapprovingly. Rahne tries, but it's rather difficult for a wolf to whistle. "And just look at that fireplace!" Rogue says as she goes to the fireplace and wipes her white gloved fingertip across the mantle in the manner of an army sergeant. "It's covered in dust!" She blows on it and causes two IAR squirrels and one IAR chipmunk to sneeze. "And just look at that broom!" The broom is covered in cobwebs. "Why they've neveh swept this room! You'd think they're motheh would. . ." she gasps. "Perhaps they have no motheh." The IARs shake their heads. "Then they're orphans! That's too bad." A mother IAR deer licks a IAR fawn. "Ah know! We'll clean the house and surprise them! Then maybe they'll let me stay." She then adds under her breath, "instead av kicking me out on my butt and calling the cops like any normal person would!"

Rogue hands her cape to some IAR birds who hang it on a hook. Then, she points to a group of IARs near the sink, "Now, y'all do the dishes." She points to a group of IARs near the staircase. "Y'all tidy up the room." She points to a group of IARs near the fireplace, "Y'all clean the fireplace." She grabs the cobweb-covered broom, "and Ah'll use the broom." The family of IAR birds begin to tweet and Rogue starts to sing the infamous song, "Whistle while ya work. . ."

The IARs start clearing the table. They place dishes on the IAR turtle's back. Rogue sweeps. The IAR deer dusts with her tail. The IAR fawn is licking the plates clean when Rogue catches it, "Oh! No, no, no! Put them in the tub!" So, an IAR squirrel pushes the dishes into the sink. The sound of breaking dishes is heard and Raven cringes. The IAR fawn starts pumping water into the sink.

Two IAR squirrels are sweeping dust under rug. It leaves a lump. "Uh, uh, uh!" Rogue calls, "not undeh the rug!" So, the IARs sweep it into a mouse hole. The dust comes back out quickly as a little IAR mouse comes out squeaking angrily.

Rogue cleans a very strange looking pipe organ and shakes the cloth out the window. An IAR squirrel has been dusting with it's tail and sees her do this. It shakes it's tail out the window and sneezes. A IAR squirrel twirls a cobweb up in it's tail. An IAR chipmunk sees this and tries to copy it, only to get stuck in a spiderweb and ends up falling into a blue sock . Through all of this Rogue is still singing. A certain black squirrel with red eyes and a flame thrower starts burning the cobwebs.

"Hold it!" Raven calls, "Ralph! What are you doing here? Get out! Back to CF you go! Back! Back!" The squirrel chatters angrily at her and shakes his fist before heading out of the studio. "SFWD to you too!" (1) she calls after it. "Now how did he get here?" she says glaring at Pyro.

"What? Why are ya looking at poor Johnny?" She continues to glare. "Well, it was just one little squirrel. . ."

"Yeah, the leader. Okay, lets just try this again. . ." Raven groans.

Another IAR chipmunk tries to roll a spiderweb into a ball. The IAR spider comes out and scares it. Several IAR birds drop yellow flowers into a blue vase that's now it the middle of the table and then pour water onto them. Rogue and the IARs cover a young IAR buck with dirty laundry. The poor IAR buck tries to walk out the door and stumbles, but finally makes it to a pool of water, where Rahne and a group of IAR raccoons are washing clothes with a washboard, rocks, and the IAR turtle's stomach. The IAR birds twirl the shirts dry and hang them on the line to dry by tying them in knots. Rogue sweeps the porch, still singing.

"And cut!" Lightning calls.

"Excuse we while I go throw up. . ." Raven says, heading towards the girl's restroom.

"Me first!" Rogue says.

"What was so sickening about that. I think it was very sweet and the IARs were so cute." Jean says.

"Ya weren't the one up there singing!" Rogue yells as she reaches the restroom door.

Even Kitty looks a little green around the gills. "Well, like, now I know what to do if I, like, ever want to torture someone to death. . ."

"Oh, it vas not that bad." Piotr says, with his arm hanging on her shoulder.

Everyone turns to him shocked, other than Jean, of course, and Raven and Rogue who are in the bathroom. "What? Where in the world did that come from?" most of them say at the same time, including Scott.

Scott realizes what just happened and screams hysterically. He then runs out of the studio, crashing headfirst into the door and then continuing on, still screaming.

"What did I say?" Piotr asks.

"Ah, never mind, homme, it's not worth explaining. . . " Remy tells him. He knocks on the bathroom door. "Roguey, are you all right? Do ya need Remy's help in t'ere?"

"No!" Rogue and Raven both call out.

"Go away ya little perve!" Rogue shouts.

Remy just smirks. He turns to Lightning, "Well, if t'e shoe fits. . ."

Lightning groans. "You are one sick Cajun."

Remy chuckles and smirks. "Oh, Remy ain't t'at bad. You should meet mon pere."

"I don't think I want to." And neither do we, so we shall leave now. . .

* * *

A/N: (1) SFWD Squirrels For World Domination. Cat2Fat900 and I are both big believers in this and CF has quite a large army of squirrels at her command. Ralph, the black squirrel with red eyes and the flame thrower is the leader of her squirrel army.

Hope you enjoyed Rogue's Rhyming Rampage. I personally was so sick to my stomach I very nearly did what my dear girls did above. Lol. The next chapter has much less of Rogue's Rhyming Rampage. Next up, The dwarfs are finally shrunk and they come home to find a princess in their beds. Yes, I meant to say beds.

Please review, even if Rogue's Rhyming Rampage made you sick too. . .


	5. Scene 4: Hi Ho, Hi Ho

**Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men or the other cast of X-Men Evolution. I do not own Snow White either. I've heard rumors about Marvel and Disney. . . I do own Raven and Lightning.**

* * *

Reviews:

To sheisbeautiful-sheisnotme: Thank you very much. I completely understand. _I have to watch it_! Ugh.

To heartsyhawk: Thank you. I know exactly what you mean. This movie is killing me slowly. Though, I'm glad it helps to hear Rogue's voice. I haven't found it in the rules. We're playing it safe with The Rogue Bride, but with this one, oh well. I save everything anyway. Lol.

To Kamikaze Fairy: Thank you very much. Glad you are enjoying this story. There are two reasons why I won't do a Romy Cinderella. Reason number one is that I don't own the movie. Reason number two is that I hate that one almost as much as this one. The closest I'll ever get to a Romy Cinderella is Ever After, which I do own and happens to be the only movie version of Cinderella that I can stand. Lol. And hey, go ahead and do it yourself. I don't have the monopoly on Romy parodies around here. I stole the idea from Cat2Fat900, anyway. She's writing "Beauty and the Demon" which I love. DCDDFD and EE Skysong are writing "The Cajun King." And a couple people have done Jott versions of the Little Mermaid and Aladdin. Lol.

To Shira's Song: Thank you kindly. :) Rogue's Rhyming Rampage nearly killed me. Lol. Glad you like the IAR's. I just can't type out Incredible Anamatronic Robots twenty million times per chapter. Lol. Remy punching Pietro was inevitable. And the only reason no one helped him is they all wanted to do it themselves. Lol. Yeah, Scott does go crazy when that happens. Lucky, in this chapter, the dwarfs all speak in unison, over and over and over. . . One good part of this movie. Maybe the only good part of this movie. Can't wait for the next update of your Comedy of Letters. :)

To YinYangPisces: Thank you. Glad you're enjoying this. I hope it's not too disgusting, after all, Rogue isn't doing Snow White's voice. However, her dialog is enough to make ME sick. Lol. We love Jean and Scott bashing. :D

To Dragonic Soul: Thank you. Should I be hiding from your dentist?

To Cat2Fat900: Yea! You're back! Glad you liked the last chapter. :) After this one, Thumbelina, and then Labyrinth, I'll be writing a parody of PoC. Psst. . . Pyro is getting my favorite part in the film. Guess, who? Lol. Who is _everyone_'s favorite character? Cool, new squirrels! Build that army! Lol. I thought you'd get a kick out of Pyro smuggling Ralph on the set. Hey, I didn't write the script! Blame Disney! SFWD to you too! Lol. Have you read ASIR lately? You'll get behind. Lol.

A/N: This is going to be a loooong chapter. . . lol. Hope you don't mind. Sorry this update took so long, but after the last chapter, I couldn't make myself watch the movie for ever so long. . .

This story is dedicated to **Kyo-Kitty**, for inspiring it. Thank you. . .

* * *

And now, Raven and Lightning present . . .

Rogue White and the Seven Mutants.

Scene 4: Hi Ho, Hi Ho

"All right, I need Jean, Kitty, Kurt, Evan, Toad, Beast, and Tabby to all line up on the duct tape!" Raven calls.

"Do we have to?" Evan pleads.

"Yes! Now do it!" She says, using her telekinesis to shove him onto the duct tape line.

The others line up slowly. "Are you sure this will even work?" Jean asks wearily.

"Well, of course it will." Forge replies, smiling. "It worked ninety percent of the time when I experimented with it at home."

"It's the other ten percent we are worried about," Hank says.

"That's enough!" Raven growls.

"Just do it!" Lightning orders.

Forge sets the machine to two feet tall. He presses the button and a green light goes out to hit the seven mutants standing on the duct tape. They all start to shrink to two feet tall. Only Evan, for some odd reason, shrinks a couple of inches shorter than the rest.

"Hey, what's up with that, man!" Evan shouts in a voice that is slightly higher pitched than normal.

"Sorry," Forge says, "guess my machine just doesn't like you."

"Stupid electronics! I could be skating right now!" Evan shouts.

"Where? The sewer?" Raven asks sweetly. This comment shuts him up. "Okay, now that you are all shrunk. . ."

"We have some news for you." Lightning adds.

"We aren't unshrinking you until the end of the play," Raven says smiling.

"What?" Two-foot-tall Jean Grey says. "You expect me to go around like this until the end of the play!"

"Yup." Lightning says, "Now, lets get on with it!"

"Places everyone!" Raven shouts. "This'll be a long day! Lights! Camera! Action!"

Jean has an incredibly bored and stuck-up look on her face as she drives a wagon, lead by an IAR buck deer, through a diamond mine. Kitty, Tabby, Kurt, and Toad are using pickaxes to pound away on the rock. They start singing about digging in a mine the whole day through. Jean starts to sing along and everyone cringes. She drives out of the mine, much to the relief of the four shrunken mutants within. An IAR fly starts buzzing around her head. It greatly annoys the redhead, so she swats at it with a stick. She misses the IAR fly and instead hits the IAR buck, which in turn starts pounding the wagon with it's back hooves. Jean is jostled around rather severely.

"That'll teach her to be nice to my robots!" Forge says, playing with the remote.

"It was in the script!" Jean calls, trying to make him stop.

"Forge, that's enough. . . It's a long scene today," Lightning says.

"Oh, fine. . ." Forge mutters.

The camera zooms in on Beast, who is at a table. He picks up a diamond from a box and taps it with an extremely small rock hammer. It makes a ringing noise which makes Beast smile. He puts it into a bag and pick up a red gem. He taps the red gem with the same hammer and it makes a dull noise that cause Beast to cringe. He throws it on the ground.

The red gem isn't the only one on the ground. Evan has a small broom and dustpan. He sweeps them up and throws them of the edge of a cliff. Then he returns to the table. While Beast is examining a diamond rather closely, Evan spies two diamonds laying on the table. He picks them up a grins. He pulls on Beast's sleeve.

Beast looks at Evan, who has put the diamonds in his eyes. Evan grins an wiggles his ears. Frowning, Beast knocks Evan on the head and the diamonds fall onto the table.

A coo coo clock chimes and Beast and Evan smile. Beast calls out, "Hi ho!"

The five shrunken mutants inside the mine (because at some point Jean had returned) answer back, "Hi ho!" They pick up their axes and leave the mine singing about going home. Toad leads Kitty, Jean, Kurt and Tabby out of the mine.

Beast and Evan are standing at the vault holding bags of diamonds. Beast tosses his in easily and walks away to get his lantern. Evan throws in his bag and he goes with it, thanks to Raven's telekinesis. He runs out and shuts the vault door. Then, he locks it and starts off to get his lantern. He stops. He turns around and hangs the key on a peg next to the vault. "That is so stupid! What's the point of locking the stupid door if you put the key next to it!" his high pitched voice squeaks.

Raven's eyes glow with anger. "Evan, have you read the script?"

"Well, duh!"

"Your part is a _nonspeaking_ part!" she says.

"In other words. . ." Lightning says.

"_Shut up_!" they both say so loud that he falls over. Scott screams and hides behind Professor Xavier.

Evan decides to stick to the script and go chasing after the other shrunken, singing mutants and his lantern. Shadows appear on a canyon wall as the mutants come around a corner still singing "Hi ho, hi ho, it's home from work we go. . ." Beast is in the lead and Evan is bringing up the rear. They walk over a log and past a waterfall. The song fades.

The scene changes to the cottage where Rogue is holding a candle and looking up the staircase. "Let's see what's upstairs," she tells the IARs and Rahne. She slowly ascends the stairs with the IARs close behind. The IAR turtle is last. It falls on the first step and has to try again. This time, it clamps it's beak into the stair and pulls itself up.

Rogue reaches the top and opens the door. "Oh what adorable little beds!" She says as she walk into the room. "And look they have their names carved on 'em. Doc, Kitty, Boomy, Porky. . ." She laughs, "What funny names fer children! Toady, Fuzzy, and Snobby." Rogue yawns. "Ah'm awful sleepy." A group of IAR rabbits yawn and Rogue lays out across the beds that read Porky, Boomy, Kitty. An IAR bluebird puts out the candle and soon Rogue, Rahne, and the IARs are sleeping soundly. The IAR turtle is about halfway up the stairs now and making good progress.

That's when the IARs hear the shrunken mutants in the distance, singing, "Hi ho!" Scott has been cringing through the whole song and here he cringes again. The IARs run to the window and down the stairs over the IAR turtle, who had just reached the top, and out the doors.

The scene changes back to the seven mutants until Beast stops and shouts "Look!" They all run into each other and fall down, glaring at Beast. "Our house! The lit's light! The lights lit!"

The mutants scamper off to hid behind a tree. Their heads pop up from behind the tree. "Jiminy Cricket!" they say in unison, other than Evan who has a nonspeaking part. Scott cries. "The door's open!" some one cries out. "Chimney's smoking!" another says. "Something's in there!" still another voice cries out.

"Like, maybe a ghost!" says Kitty.

"Or a goblin!" says Tabby.

"A demon!" says Beast, looking at Kurt.

"Or a dragon!" says Jean.

"Mark my words," Toad pipes in, "There's trouble a-brewing, yo." He wags his finger at the other mutants. "Knew it _all _day. My warts hurt. . . That ain't funny, yo!"

"Gosh!" Kitty exclaims.

"Zat is a bad sign," agrees Kurt.

"What'll we do?" Hank asks.

"Let's like, sneak up on it, or some junk!" Kitty says.

"Yes!" Hanks says with building confidence. "We'll squeak up, ahem, sneak up, er come on hen, uh, men! Follow me!" He motions for them to follow and they sneak up to the cottage on tiptoe. They peer in the window. "Psst." Hank says and opens the door, which squeaks.

They peer in and then, one by one, they all walk in. Each one of them stepping on Evan. Evan gets up, scowling, and slams the door. The mutants scramble around and then they all stick their pickaxes over their head and turn around. There stands Evan. They all go, "Shh!" Scott places his face behind his hands.

Evan turns to the door and tell it to shush.

"Careful men," Beast says. "Search every cook and nanny, hook and granny, crooked fanny. . . Crooked fanny? Er. . . search everywhere." They spread out on tiptoe and the IARs start to peek out and look at them. "Look!" Hank cries, "The floor! It's _swept_!"

Toad snorts, "Chair's been dusted."

Kitty looks at the window, "Like, our windows been totally washed."

"Gosh," Kurt says, looking up, "Our cobvebs are missing."

"What. . .? What. . .?" Hank says, at a loss for words, "Why the whole place is clean!"

Toad pokes Beast. "There's dirty work a-foot, yo."

Jean and Tabby look into the sink, "Hey," Tabby says angrily, "Someone stole our dishes!"

"They, like, aren't stolen!" Kitty says, "They're, like, hid in the cupboard!"

Kurt reaches in a grabs a cup. He puts his finger in and wipes it, "My cup's been vashed. . ." he says sadly. "Sugar's gone."

"Something's cooking," Kitty says smiling as she and Evan approach a pot, boiling in the fireplace. "Smell's good." She grabs a spoon.

Toad does a flying leap and knocks her down to keep her out of it. Evan is pushed over as well. Everyone cheers. "Don't touch it, you fools. Heh heh, that's something I always wanted to say to you." He laughs. Raven clears her throat and Todd decides it might be best to continue. "Might be poison."

"Get off me!" the pint size Kitty shrieks. "The smell is killing me!"

As Toad stands up, the pot hisses and scares them. "See!" Toad says proudly, pointing at it, "It's witches' brew."

Hanks averts everyone's attention by exclaiming, "Look what's happened to our stable, uh, table!"

Kurt grabs the flowers from the vase, which incidentally are completely different flowers than the ones the IAR birds put in the vase to begin with. (1) "Flowers," he says happily and sniffs them deeply. "Look, goldenrods!" He shoves them into Tabby's face.

"Don't do it!" she warns, backing up. "Take them away! My nose! My hay fever! You know I can't stand it! I can't!" Tabby starts to sneeze. All the mutants rush over to put their fingers under Tabby's nose. "Thanks," she says when they move their fingers. Then, she sneezes anyway, creating a time bomb at the same time that explodes and blows the other mutants across the room. Toad fights against it and manages to hold onto the staircase railing with his tongue. The other five mutants end up in a big pile.

They shush Tabby.

Toad tells her, "You crazy fool! Fine time you pick to sneeze, yo!"

"I couldn't help it!" She says, stomping her foot. "I can't tell when! When you gotta, you gotta! I, I, I gotta! It's coming!"

All the mutants pile on top of her and tie her hat around her nose. "Get her!" One says. "Don't let her!" another cries. "Tie it tight!" a different one says. "That oughta hold her!" another says.

"Thanks guys," Tabby says, louder than she needs to.

"Quiet you fool!" Todd says, "You wanna get us all killed?"

Watching them are the IAR bluebird family. Then look at each other and rap on the rafter. The mutants are shrunken spooked.

"Like, what's that?" Kitty asks.

"That's _it_. . ." Beast says.

"Sounds close," Kurt says.

"It's in this room right now," Toad says.

They start to look around and the IAR bluebird family squawks loudly. The mutants are frightened and jump for cover. Tabby hides in a pot, Toad in a pile of potatoes, Kurt under the stairs, Jean in a mop bucket, Kitty behind a chair, Porky in a wood pile.

"It's up there," Beast whispers.

"Ja," Kurt says, gulping, "in ze bedroom."

Beast takes command, "One of us will have to go down and chase it up, er, up, down." Everyone looks at Evan. Evan smiles and looks behind him. No one is there. He realizes this and tries to run, but they grab him and Beast tries to hand him a candle with shaking hands. "Here, take it. Don't be nervous." Finally Beast grabs Evan's hand and places the candle in it. They push Evan up the stairs. He pauses and looks down. "Don't be afraid," Beast reassures him. "We're right behind you."

"Yes, right behind you," the other mutants say.

Scott shakes his fist and cries out, "Why? Why must you torture me so?"

Everyone looks at him with raised eyebrows.

Professor Xavier says, "I'm going to set up an appointment for him with my personal psychiatrist."

Everyone nods and the play continues.

Evan nods, gulps, and goes up the stairs and through the door, candle first. He tiptoes and hears Rogue groan. Evan screams a higher pitch scream than ever Pietro can muster, and runs out the door.

The shrunken mutants yell out, "Here it comes!" Scott starts to sob. They all run out and slam the door with Evan locked on the inside. He tries to open the door, while they try to pull it shut. "It's after us!" One of them cries. "Hold it!" Don't let it out!" Still another cries. But the door knob breaks and Evan flies back into the wall and knock out a bunch of pots and pans. The noise is loud enough to wake the dead, but it doesn't wake Rogue. Evan runs out,covered in pots and pans.

All the other mutants hid in a tree. "Here it comes!" one shouts. Another pipes up, "Now's our chance!" "Give it to him," shouts another mutant. "Don't let it get away!" another orders. They begin to beat Evan to a pulp. One of them finally knocks the pot off of his head.

Click! Pietro takes a good photo.

"Hold on there!" Beast cries and points at Evan, "It's only Porky."

"And your point is. . .?" asks Tabby.

"He's on our side, and we shouldn't beat him." Beast answers.

"But he, like, quit and betrayed us!" Kitty says, smiling at Piotr who's laughing off stage.

"Technically he didn't betray us, Kitty," Jean says.

"Oh, just stop because it says so in the script!" Beast howls.

"Okay." they answer, which is followed by a sob from Scott, the _fearless_ leader.

"Did ya see it?" asks Tabby. Evan nods.

"Like, how big is it?" Kitty asks. Evan spreads his arms wide.

"Has it got horns?" Kurt asks. Evan makes his fingers into little horns.

"Was it breathing fire?" Beast asks. Evan stick out his tongue and spits.

"Was it drooling?" Tabby asks. Evan drools.

Click. Pietro takes another nice photo.

"Vhat vas it doing?" Kurt asks. Evan makes a snoring sound and pretends to sleep.

"He says it's a, a monster asleep in our beds," Beast says.

Toad, then, speaks up, "Let's grab it while it's sleeping, yo!"

"Yeah, while it's sleeping!" they all agree. Scott starts sucking his thumb and holding his ear, much like Pyro did in Remy Hood. (2)

Beast says, "Hurry men. It's now or never."

They go towards the house crying, "Cut off it's head! Break it to pieces! Chop it to pieces! Don't stop until it's dead!" Evan is last to go into the cottage, his foot still caught in a pot.

They enter the bedroom cautiously.

Rogue groans and stretches under the covers.

"Jiminy Cricket!" Tabby says.

"Gosh!" Kurt says.

"Gee!" Kitty cries.

"What a monster!" Tabby says.

"Covers zree beds!" Kurt says.

"Let's kill it before it wakes up," Beast says.

"Like, which end do we, like, kill?"

They shush Kitty and head over to the beds. They raise their pickaxes. Beast pulls back the covers and they all stop as they see Rogue laying there asleep. "Well," says Beast pointing.

"What is it?" Kitty says.

"Why it, it, it's a g, girl! A b, big one!" Beast says, stuttering.

"She's mighty pretty." Tabby says.

"She's beautiful," Kurt says, looking at his sister lovingly. "Just like an angel."

"Angel? Ha!" Toad says, remembering Rogues temper. "She's a female and all females are poison!" Then he quickly adds to squelch the evil glares from the other shrunken mutants, "except you Tabby and Kitty. . ."

"What about me?" Jean cries.

Toad just shrugs. "They're full of wicked wiles!"

"Vhat are vicked viles?" Kurt asks.

"I don't know, but I'm against 'em, yo!" Toad says.

Beast shushes Toad, "Not so loud! You'll wake her up!"

"Oh, let her wake up! She don't belong here no how!" Toad says extremely loudly.

The mutants shush him again. "Look out!" someone cries. "She's moving!" another cries.

"She's, like, totally waking up!" Kitty cries out as Rogue stirs.

"Hide!" Beast cries. They all scramble around and eventually all hid at the foot of the beds.

Rogue wakes up and yawns. "Oh, dear. Ah wondeh if the children are. . . oh!" She gasps as she notices the heads of the little mutants and grabs the covers to cover up needlessly, since she was still wearing her dress from earlier. Of course Rogue really just wanted to cover up the much hated dress. Remy laughs off stage and earns a glare from his beloved. "Why! You're little mutants! How do ya do?"

The shrunken mutants stand and look at each other sceptically.

"Ah said, how do ya do?" Rogue insists.

"How do ya do what?" Toad asks gruffly.

"Oh, ya can talk! Ah'm so glad." Rogue says, "Not really, but fer the play. . . Now don't tell me who ya are. Let me guess." She looks around and says, "Ah know, you're Doc." She says to Beast.

"Why, why, yes. Yes. That's true." Beast says.

"And you," she says to Kurt. "You're fuzzy."

"Gosh," Kurt says, playing with his tail.

"And you, you're Snobby." Rogue says to Jean.

Jean yawns from boredom and anger towards Todd. "How'd you guess?" she says rudely.

"And you, you're Boomy." Rogue tells Tabby.

Tabby sneezes and blows up a pillow.

"And you must be. . ." Rogue gets cut off.

"Kitty, Mame, and this here's, like, Porky. He so doesn't talk none." Kitty says, pointing to Evan.

"Ya mean he can't talk?" Rogue asks hopefully.

""Don't know," Kitty shrugs, "He, like, never tried." Everyone laughs.

"That's great! Ah mean, too bad," Rogue says. "Ooh, ya must be Toady," She says to Toad.

Toad crosses his arms. Beast pokes him and says, "Yes, yes."

"We know who we are, yo!" Toad exclaims. "Ask her who she is and what she's doing here."

"Yes," Beast says, "What are you and who are you doing here?"

"T'at would be me," Gambit says off stage.

"In youh dreams, Swamp Rat!" Rogue growls.

"Every night," Remy agrees.

Rogue smiles at Raven and Lightning, climbs off the little beds, walks up to Gambit, still smiling, and slaps him hard across the face. She then goes back to the beds and covers up again. Raven almost laughs, but not quite. Everyone else does, except for Rogue who is still very angry and Gambit who is still very sore.

Beast gains his composure and asks, "Who are you, my dear?"

"Oh, how silly av me! Ah'm Rogue White."

"The Princess?" the shrunken mutants ask. Scott goes to his dressing room and comes out holding a blankie tightly, still sucking his thumb.

"Yes!"

"Well," Beast says, "My dear Quincess, Princess, we're honored."

"No we're not! We're mad as hornets!" Todd says.

"Yes, we're mad as hornets!" Beast says, "No, we're not! We're bad as cornets, no, as bad as. . . What was I saying?"

"Nothing!" Toad growls, "Just standing there sputtering like a doodoo bottom!"

"Who's buttering like a spoder dove? Who's rud, gut?" Beast tries.

"Ah, shut up and tell her to get out!" Toad yells.

"Please don't send me away!" Rogue pleads with clasped hands. "If ya do, she'll kill me!"

"Kill you!" A mutant cries. "Who will?" another asks. "Yes, who?" another one asks.

"My stepmotheh, the Queen." Rogue states.

"The Queen!" they all cry out.

"I can't take it any more!" Scott yells and runs out of the studio and straight into a car. Fortunately, the car wasn't moving. . . or is that unfortunately. . .

"She's vicked!" Kurt cries out, ignoring Scott's little scene.

"She's bad!" Kitty says.

"She's mighty mean," Tabby says.

"She's an old witch, yo!" Toad say, "I'm warning you, If the Queen finds her here, she'll swoop down and reek her vengeance on us!"

"But she doesn't know where Ah am," Rogue says cheerfully. Truly wishing Mystique didn't know where she was.

"She don't, eh?" Toad asks, "She knows everything! She's full of black magic. She can even make herself_ invisible_! Might be in this room, right now!"

The shrunken mutants look around anxiously. Evan looks up Kitty skirt. Kitty pounds him with her fist. He turns around to see Piotr, who has come on the stage just to punch him again. Piotr then leaves the stage and the play progresses.

"Oh, she'll neveh find me here. And if y'all let me stay, Ah'll keep house fer ya. Ah'll wash and sew and sweep, and cook. . ." Rogue pleads.

"Cook!" The mutants exclaim. Scott, who has returned to the studio after running into the car, faints.

"Can ya make dapple lumplings, lupple damplings?" Beast asks.

"Apple dumplings!" Toad and Kurt yell at him. Scott twitches, even in his unconscious state.

"Yes, Crapple Dumpkings?" Beast asks.

"Uh huh, and plum puddin' and gooseberry pie." Rogue says.

"Gooseberry pie!" Everyone but Toad and Evan shout, "Hurray, she stays!" Scott, who was waking up, faints again.

"And cut!" Raven calls. She buries her face in her hands from frustration.

"I can't believe I, like, have to, like, totally stay like this. . ." Kitty sighs sadly.

"Oh, but you look so cute, Katya." Piotr says.

"You really think so?"

"Of course I do," he picks up the mini mutant and carries her out.

Gambit starts to say something to Rogue, but she stops him with a glare. "Don't even start, Swamp Rat! Ah'm not speaking ta ya!"

"Remy t'inks you're speaking to him right now."

"Well, _Remy_ is wrong!" Rogue howls.

Remy laughs. "Remy's never wrong, chere."

"What about joining Magneto, huh?" Rogue counters.

"Well. . . okay, Remy is almost neveh wrong," he says.

"Well, this is one of those few times where Remy is wrong!" She slams her dressing room door in his face.

"That was harsh," Lightning says.

Everyone looks at him.

"Your girlfriend's done a lot worse to you. . ." Evan says in his high pitched voice.

Raven simply uses her telekinesis to knock Evan into the brick wall. He passes out. Raven smiles as everyone cheers. And this is a good place to leave them. . .

* * *

A/N: (1) Yup, they really screwed that up in the original.

(2)In case you haven't read that one, Pyro played the part of Prince John in the Disney version.

Okay, well that one tried to kill me, but I made it. :) I'll try to watch the movie again soon, but not today. . .

Next up. . . Toad gets a bath! (which is the whole reason he's Grumpy) :)

Please review. . .


	6. Scene 5: Toad's Bath

**Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men or the other cast of X-Men Evolution. I do not own Snow White either. I've heard rumors about Marvel and Disney. . . I do own Raven and Lightning.**

* * *

Reviews:

To sheisbeautiful-sheisnotme: Thank you very much. Disney World? Really? That's cool. I've never been. Anywho, Scott's strange behavior started way back in the first of my parodies. . . Slowly he gradually grew an odd fear of Synchronized Sentences (that's my term for when two or more people speak in unison.). . . He's fear has not been abated yet and he battles it during every chapter. As you can tell, he will soon start seeing a therapist about the issue. Lol.

To heartsyhawk: Thank you. Well, he's stupid that way. Lol. I think Kurt was too busy being two feet tall to really do anything about it. And this was their first one. They're allowed to make a few mistakes. However, Snow White's voice and demeanor is very nearly unforgivable. I'm looking forward to Toad's bath as well. Lol. Yea! False alarm! How'd you find out?

To Nettlez: Thank you very much. You are seriously a boost to my ego. I can just feel my head start to swell. . . Snow White is the reason I hate the whole movie. The only part I enjoy in the Silly Song where bashful talks about chasing polecats (skunks) up trees. Yup same old Rogue and Remy. I'm starting to feel sorry for my dear Rogue, that's why, after my next parody (Thumbelina) I'll be doing Labyrinth. :) To give her a slight break from the fancy dresses. But there is that one scene. . .

To YinYangPisces: Thank you. Scott is probably hysterical after that last chapter. . .

To Kristy: Thank you very much. I've never seen either movie, sorry. My next story is going to be a parody of Don Bluth's Thumbelina. Then Labyrinth, and then Disney's Pirate's of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl. :)

To Cat2Fat900: Oh, too bad. Labyrinth is one of my favorite movies ever. . . Only there's not a lot of room for Romy. Rogue will be happy, cause she'll resist him. . . And Remy will look very nice as the King of the Goblins. . . hmm, David Bowie in tights. . . lol. Who doesn't love the pirate Captain St. John Allerdyce? Lol hmm, the only movie I think Johnny Depth looks good in. Underwater base? Hmm. . . Sure you can. . . We'd all like to see that. . . You've got Remy on the brain, that's why. Though, technically, Remy shouldn't speak French. . . He should speak Creole. Go figure. It's really close anyway. Lol. Forge is definitely funnier. :) Probably, everyone would let you. :) Guess you liked that joke. Seriously, in the original he was all "What are you and who are you doing here?" And I thought, oh I cannot let THAT go by without a comment. Lol. Oh you know Rogue. Lol. She'll get over it . SFWD!

A/N:

This story is dedicated to **Kyo-Kitty**, for inspiring it. Thank you. . .

* * *

And now, Raven and Lightning present . . .

Rogue White and the Seven Mutants.

Scene 5: Toad's Bath

The entire cast is searching fervently for Todd. He is no where to be found. The play can't continue without him.

"Who wants this play to continue anyway?" Just-under-two-feet-tall-Evan groans.

"Evan, be nice," Ororo scolds.

"But Auntie O," he starts. She stops further complaints with a glare as cold as. . . as cold as Rogue's Death Glare.

When Raven and Lightning arrive, they do not seem happy to hear the news.

"What do you mean Toad is missing?" Raven says, narrowing her yellow eyes.

"Just what I said, 'Toad is missing'," Lance says.

Raven sighs and groans, "I'll find him." She does a quick mental search of the building and then, using telekinesis, drags the Mini Toad onto the set. "Gotcha."

"Aw, man, do I have to. . ." he whines.

"Yes!" Lightning and Raven shout.

Scott shudders.

Despite Toad's whimpers and screams the play begins as Raven calls out "Lights! Camera! Action!"

The pot in the fireplace boils rapidly. Rogue, acting as if she just remembered it, runs to it and removes it from the heat. She stirs it and tastes it. She spits it out. "Ugh, did Kitty make this?"

"Hey!" Kitty and Piotr both yell, causing Scott to bury his face in his hands, shivering.

Meanwhile the seven shrunken mutants are peeking from the top of the banister where Evan has stuck his head into a hole in it. They sniff the air and shout, "Ah, soup! Hurray!"

Scott screams out, "No! No, not the synchronized sentences again!" He starts crying.

Raven shrugs and the play continues.

The six shrunken mutants, who were _not _stupid enough to stick their heads through the banister, run to the table, each of them stepping on Evan's back. They are arguing over the food. Each one wanting to be the first.

Evan tries to follow, but his head is stuck in the banister. After several bumps and a bit of telekinetic help from Raven, his head pops through and he flies back into the wall. Aching from the pain, he stands and tries to run down the stairs, which only ends up in him tumbling down them inside. He gets up, rather sore and runs to the table and into his chair, but his chair falls back and he goes rolling out of it. He stands his chair up and sits down to join the argument without talking. The little mutants are fighting over potatoes and knocking Evan out of his chair again. They are just about to bite into them when Rogue sees them.

"Uh, uh, uh, just a minute. Suppeh's not quite ready yet, y'all'll just have time ta wash."

"Wash?" they ask each other quietly. Scott's tears grow louder.

"I knew there was a catch to it," Toad grumbles, throwing down his spoon.

"Vhy Vash?" Kurt asks.

"What for? We, like, ain't going no where?" Kitty asks.

"It isn't New Year," states Hank. Tabby, Kitty and Kurt shake their heads.

"Oh, perhaps ya have washed," Rogue says.

""Perhaps we. . ." says Beast, "Yes, perhaps we have."

"But when?" says Rogue.

"When? When? You said. . . Ah, last week, month, ye. . ., why, recently." Beast supplies.

"Yes, recently," They all say, other than Toad or Evan. Magneto wrestles a gun away from Scott who was about to shoot himself in the head.

"Oh, recently," Rogue says, "Let me see your hands."

All the shrunken mutants except for Toad, place their hands promptly behind their back and start to back up. Toad crosses his arms defiantly.

"Let me see your hands." Rogue insists, placing her hands on her hips.

Beast brings his filthy hands out.

"Why Doc! Ah'm surprised!" Rogue exclaims.

Beast giggles and hides his hands once again.

Rogue turns to Kurt, "Come on. Let's see 'em."

Kurt brings his hands out.

"Oh, Fuzzy, my, my, my. . ."

He blushes and hides them again.

"And ya," she says to Tabby, who brings them out. Rogue tsks.

Kitty rubs her hands on her pants and holds them out for Rogue to inspect.

"Worse than Ah thought," Rogue says sadly.

Evan sticks his filthy hands out and his sleeves cover them. Rogue laughs and he puts them down.

Jean sticks her hands out with the air of one who is too good for this.

Rogue gasps, "How shockin'!"

Jean quickly hides her hands.

"Goodness me!"

Toad looks at his hand and shoves it back down. He's really in a grumpy mood today because of the scene coming up.

"This'll neveh do! March straight out and wash or y'all'll not get a bite ta eat!" Rogue demands.

Sadly, the mutants, other than Toad, look to Beast, who nods and leads them outside the open door, who's doorknob is remarkably fixed!

Evan is, naturally, not looking where he is going and walks straight into the wall on the wrong side of the door. He runs out and around the door to the outside while most of the cast has trouble containing their laughter.

Toad says, "Eh," and turns to glare at the wall again.

"What's the matteh?" Rogue asks. "Cat gotcha tongue?"

Toad, looking shocked at such a statement, sticks his very long tongue out at her and proceeds to march straight into the door.

Rogue laughs, "Aw, did ya hurt yourself?"

"Hmph!" Toad answers and marches outside, slamming the door. He sits on a barrel and grabs a wheat stalk and sticks it in his mouth. "Eh, women!"

"Courage, men, courage," Beast tells the mini-mutants. "Don't be nervous."

Toad watches as they approach the horse trough. They peer at the water nervously. Kitty sticks her finger in it, "Gosh, it's, like, wet!"

Tabby sticks her finger in it too. She quickly pulls it out with a "Brrr!" She shakes, "it's cold too!"

Kurt speaks up, "Ve ain't gonna do it, are ve?"

"Well," Hank says, "It would please the Princess."

"I'll, like, totally take a chance for her!" Kitty says.

"Me too," says Tabby, Kurt, and Jean. Scott suddenly starts having a seizure and must be tied down.

"Hmph," Toad says from his barrel, "her wiles are beginning to work, yo! But I'm warning you, you give them an inch, they'll walk all over you!"

"Don't listen to that old warthog!" Hank says to the other shrunken mutants.

"Hey! That not nice, yo!" Toad complains.

"It's in the script!" Beast says, sighing, "Come one now, men!"

Tabby scrunches up her nose, "how hard do you scrub?"

"Will it hurt?" Jean asks.

"Do you, like, get in the tub?" Kitty asks.

"Do you have to vash vhere it doesn't show?" Kurt asks.

"Now, don't get excited," Hank tells them. "Here we go! Step up to the tub. It ain't no disgrace. Just pull up your sleeves and pin them in place. Then, scoop up the water and rub it on your face and go, 'Brrr! Brrr! Brrr!' Pick up the soap. Now, don't try to bluff."

They all pick up the soap, besides Toad, of course, who is still sitting on the barrel. They work up a lather in their faces.

Beast continues. "Work up a lather, and when you got enough, get your hands full of water and you snort and you snuff and you go, 'Brrr! Brrr! Brrr'!" Then, he starts to sing.

In the meantime, the IAR fly that bothered Jean before makes it's return by buzzing around Jean's head. Then it lands on the soap and starts scrubbing.

"Bunch of old nanny goats! You make me sick, going, 'Brrr! Brrr! Brrr'!" Toad hollers at them.

Beast then takes a floor scrubbing brush and scrubs Tabby's, Kitty's, Kurt's and Jean's heads. He tries to scrub Evan's, but Spyke ducks. He keeps trying to avoid the brush and Beast gets mad and knocks him into the trough with it.

"Brrr! Brrr! Brrr!" Evan shouts from under the water, kicking his feet frantically.

Click, goes Pietro's camera.

Beast, then, scrubs Evan's butt with the brush instead.

Pietro takes another picture.

While Evan is barely able to drag himself out of the water,Toad is still making fun, "Ha! Next thing ya know she'll be tying your hair up in pink ribbons and smelling you up with that stuff called perfume!" He spits out the chewed part of the wheat stalk as if it were tobacco.

"And just what it wrong with pink ribbons!" Tabby says glaring.

"Yeah!" Kitty says.

"_Everything_!" Raven growls. "Now stick to the script before I give you nightmares so bad that you can never _look_ at a pink hair ribbon again!"

The mutants go back to washing. Beast is drying his glasses carefully when Kitty shakes like a dog to dry her hair and soaks both him and his glasses.

Spyke hits himself in the head to get the water out of his ears. Then, he shakes his head and hears water sloshing around.

"Guess his head's that empty," Logan says, trying to hide a chuckle.

"Sadly, yes," Storm answers.

"Auntie O!" Evan cries out.

"Well, you can't expect me to lie about such a thing!" Ororo protests.

"As much as we all could listen to Evan's shortcomings all day. . ." Raven says.

"Let's get on with the play," Lightning finishes.

Evan, glaring at his aunt, sticks his finger in his mouth and blows. The water comes shooting out.

"Funny how that didn't take any special effects. . ." Forge mutters.

Tabby can't see, so, she grabs the first thing she touches to dry her face off with. It happens to be the back of Jean's undershirt.

Kurt can't see either and grabs the front of Jean's top shirt to dry off his face. This causes Jean to lift up off the ground. When they're done, they drop her painfully on the ground.

"A fine bunch of waterlilies you turned out to be, yo!" Toad says to them from his barrel. Beast glares at him. "I'd like to see anybody make me wash, if I didn't wanna!"

"We'd all like to see _that_!" Lance shouts from off stage.

"And you will, if you _stop interrupting_!" Raven growls. Toad whimpers.

Hank clears his throat and motions for the others. They gather in a football-esque huddle. Beast whispers and points at Toad, who doesn't seem to notice. Kitty looks up and laughs. Evan looks up and smiles dumbly. Kitty reaches up and grabs his head and drags him back into the huddle.

Whistling, they make their way to surround Toad, who notices to late.

"Get him," Hank says calmly.

Toad tries to hop away, but he is held in place by Raven's telekinesis and the others quickly grab onto his arms and legs. He is kicking and screaming. "Help! Help! Don't do this! The water will kill me! Help!"

Raven shrugs, it's not in the script, but it works.

"Get him to the tub!" Beast cries, "Get him to the tub!" They start carrying him towards the horse trough.

"Let me loose, you fools!" Toad hollers, "Let me loose!"

"Get him up into the tub!" Beast orders, "get him over in the dub, tub! Don't get excited!"

They manage to get him in and in the process, Evan falls and rolls over onto Beast. He lands with his arms around Beast's neck and he looks up at him lovingly.

Beast pushes him off and orders through clenched teeth, "Get the soap!" Then he runs off stage and throws up. They pause the cameras until he returns. "I'm sorry about that," he says to Raven and Lightning.

"No worries, we'd have done the same thing," Raven says. Lightning nods in agreement.

The play continues, as Evan nods at Beast and goes to get the soap. But he trips and gets up and runs past the soap. He stops, goes back and gets it, but it slips out of his hands ten times.

"Steady, men," Beast says to those who are holding the tortured Toad in the water.

The soap lands on Evan's head and bounces off. He sneaks up on it and pounces on it. That only causes it to slip out of his hands and bounce off of Jean's butt and down Evan's throat, nearly choking him, but it goes down. "Did we have to use real soap?" he asks, feeling sick.

Raven's eyes glow yellow and Lightning answers. "Once again, Evan, you have a non-speaking part! _ Don't talk_!"

"Sheesh, never mind," he groans, really feeling sick. He pretends not to notice the fact that he just swallowed an entire bar of soap and looks around for the missing soap. He can't find it of course. He hiccups and bubbles come out of his mouth. He keeps looking around until he hiccups bubbles again. He pats his stomach and feels the bar of soap. He keeps hiccuping bubbles and feeling sicker and sicker.

During all of this the others are scrubbing Toad's face and laughing. Tabby washes his hair. Kurt and Jean hold him down. Kitty scrubs his forehead and Beast scrubs his teeth. They are all singing.

Evan is still hiccuping bubbles. One hiccups is so hard that his shirt comes up over his head and the bubble lifts his hat. The bubble pops and the hat lands on his head.

By this time they are tying blue bows into Todd's hair.

"Ain't he sweet?" Beast says.

Tabby sniffs and says, "Smells like a petunia."

Kitty places a wreath of flowers in his hair and announces, "He sure is cute."

"You'll pay dearly for this!" Toad screams, meaning ever word.

Rogue taps the spoon against the pot and calls out, "Suppeh!"

"Supper!" Beast says happily.

"Food! Hurray!" the others says, dropping toad in the trough and making Scott squirm against the bonds that hold him to the floor.

"Brrr! Brrr! Brrr!" Toad screams. When he sits up he says, "Hmph!"

"And cut!" Raven shouts. "You all make me sick!"

"No body loves me!" Evan cries, running to his dressing room.

Everyone looks at Storm.

She sighs, "Fine all go after him." She says and wanders after the mini Spyke.

"And somebody do something about that!" Lightning yells, pointing at Scott. Jean goes to him.

"Why?" Raven asks, "It's fun to watch."

"Remind me why I'm marrying you again?" Lightning asks her.

"Because I said so," she says glaring.

"Oh_ that's_ a good reason. . ." he mutters.

"Lawrence Anthony Welsh!" she shouts, "If you don't remember everything we've been through, I'll make you remember!"

"Well, it could be worse," Remy mutters, watching Raven chase Lightning, who's laughing at her.

"How so?" Rogue asks.

"It could be us fighting. . ." he says.

"I must agree vith that," Piotr says picking up the Mini Shadowcat and putting her around his neck the way you'd carry a toddler. She hugs his head and kissing it. He smiles at her.

"I don't know. . ." Rogue says.

"At least if it vere you two, only half ze set vould be destroyed," Mini Kurt says, wincing as another part of the set is destroyed.

"Well, t'at's true," Remy agrees. "So, Roguey, want some coffee?"

"Sure!" And they head off the set to find some. Two seconds later, Rogue comes back in to change her outfit. "It's not funny, Cajun!"

Remy follows laughing. "Uh, huh, Remy'll let you believe t'at. . ."

And this is a good time to leave. . .

* * *

A/N: Hope you liked that. I thought it was rather funny. Sorry it took so long, I've just got no time lately. In between raising two kids and a husband, and being pregnant and my other obligations, but no worries, the evil parody will continue! And with shorter chapters I think.

Next up! Mystique finds out that Rogue's still alive and plots her revenge.

Please review. . .


	7. Scene 6: A Clever Disguise

**Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men or the other cast of X-Men Evolution. I do not own Snow White either. I've heard rumors about Marvel and Disney. . . I do own Raven and Lightning.**

* * *

Reviews: 

To sheisbeautiful-sheisnotme: Thank you very much. Glad it makes sense now. Lol! Alright, alright I give up! See author's note.

To YinYangPisces: Thank you. Yup, Toad needed one badly. That's why he got the part. Lol. Not really, just usual Raven stuff. Lightning loves her, he knows it. Lol. There's actually a very long story to that.

To Kyo-Kitty: Thank you. Pyro? Um, hun, Pyro wasn't in that scene. . . Perhaps you thought you were reviewing the Rogue Bride? Lol. Thanks, we're very excited.

To Cat2Fat900: Yes, and Evan is shorter than all the rest. Lol. (insert evil laughter) Glad you enjoyed Scott's attempted suicide. Lol. I know I sure did. Lol. Like I said, it was Disney's first movie, so I suppose they are allowed to make a mistake of it. (hands you doubles of Pietro's pictures) For blackmailing purposes. Lol. All year. . . hmm, a fic all about the shortcomings of Evan. . . could be a real big hit. Lol. Ha you can't say Bella Donna! Ha ha ha ha ha!Thank you very much! SFWD!

A/N: Alright, alright, I give up! Due to popular demand. . . .You will all be happy to note that after my next three parodies (Thumbelina, Labyrinth, and Pirates of the Caribbean) I will be parodying the Disney trilogy of Aladdin. But don't expect it until after Christmas 2005, because my son is getting the second 2 movies on DVD as Christmas presents.

This story is dedicated to **Kyo-Kitty**, for inspiring it. Thank you. . .

* * *

And now, Raven and Lightning present . . . 

Rogue White and the Seven Mutants.

Scene 6: A Clever Disguise

Remy whispers something into Rogue's ear. She smiles and laughs.

"Give up yet?" Kitty asks her.

"Give up what?" Rogue asks.

"Trying to, like, prove you aren't dating Gambit?" Mini Kitty asks.

"Oh go jump off a cliff!" Rogue groans. "We ain't dating."

"We did go out for coffee, chere. . ." Remy laughs.

"A friend can't buy anotheh friend coffee without it being a date?" she asks.

"So, you admit we're friends now, do you?" Remy grins.

Rogue starts banging her head against the wall.

"Okay, places! Places!" Lightning shouts.

Sabretooth grabs Scott and hangs him on the hook by the belt again.

Click, click, click! Pietro's camera works quickly.

"Lights! Camera! Action!" Raven calls.

The camera films a dark castle. It zooms in closer and closer.

The scene changes to a close up of the rather ornate box, Mystique is holding that supposedly contains Rogue's heart.

The camera pans out while Mystique says, "Cyclops, Cyclops on the wall, who _now_ is the fairest one of all?"

Scott, glowering from his place on the hook, answers, "Over the seven jeweled hills, beyond the seven falls, in the cottage of the seven mutants, dwells Rogue White, fairest one of all."

"Rogue White lies dead in the forest. The Wolverine has brought me her heart as proof." She opens the box and shows Cyclops. "Behold, her heart."

Technically, inside the box is a little note that says "Gotcha."

"Rogue White still lives, the fairest in the land. It the heart of a pig you hold in your hand."

Mystique glares at the box and slams the lid shut. "The heart of a pig! Then, I've been tricked!." She proceeds to walk off the set angrily. She reappears at the top of a staircase and keeps walking down it angrily.

A few IAR rats see her coming and hide. One of them explodes.

"Forge!" everyone yells.

Scott, still stuck on his hook, starts saying "Foo-ba," over and over, while trying to dial his new therapist's phone number.

"Sorry," Forge saying, shrugging.

After Mystique is done glaring at Forge, she enters a room and slams the door. An IAR Raven, which is sitting on a plastic skull, looks scared at the noise.

"The heart of a pig!" Mystique hollers, throwing the box to the ground. "The blundering fool!"

The IAR Raven jumps at the noise of the box hitting the floor.

"I'll go myself to the mutant's cottage," she holds her finger up as if she just got a brilliant idea, "in a disguise so complete no one will ever suspect." She pulls out a book, the title of which is "Disguises," and starts flipping through the pages. "Now, a formula to transform my beauty into ugliness, change my Queenly raiment to a peddler's cloak."

Speaking of which, the camera focuses on the book, it reads, "Peddler's Disguise. Formula: Mummy dust, Black of Night, Old Hag's Cackle, Scream of Fright."

Mystique reads it and starts putting together the formula, "Mummy Dust, to make me old." She holds a goblet of water. "To shroud my clothes, the Black of Night." She holds a test tube of black food coloring and pours it into the goblet. The water turns black. "To age my voice, an Old Hag's Cackle." She turns the fire on over a beaker of red colored water and it begins to boils. Changing her voice to sound old, she laughs, making it sound as if the laugh is coming from the water. The water boils up into a elaborate set of tubing and ends up dropping into the water. Pietro quickly exchanges goblets to make it look like the water turned red and started boiling. "To whiten my hair, a Scream of Fright." She turns a nob and baking soda pours into the water, making it bubble over. At the same time, Pietro screams a very girlish high-pitched scream. When the bubbles calm down, he exchanges it for a green glass. "A Blast of Wind, to fan my hate," she says into her reflection in the glass. She holds the glass to the window and Storm creates a huge wind. "A Lightning Bolt, to mix it well." And at this point, Storm creates a lightning bolt. It misses and hit Mystique instead of the water goblet. She goes flying across the set and lands on her butt. "You idiot! Who taught you to aim? Wolverine?"

"Hey, let's not get personal here," says Wolverine, who could very easily come up with a few personal things to spout back at her.

"Who said I missed?" Ororo says, smirking.

"Why you little. . ." Mystique starts.

"Stop this right now!" Raven shouts. "You are worse than the children!" She says pointing at Lance and Piotr, who are once again fighting over the Mini Kitty, and Rogue and Remy, who are still fighting about whether they are dating or not, and at Roberto and Ray, who are fighting over who knows what.

"There's a play to get on!" Lightning calls.

"Well, I, for one, can't stand up right now!" Mystique says.

"Great. . ." Raven groans. "Lightning, go help her."

"Will do," and a few minutes later, Mystique is ready to preform.

"And now, let's restart this thing!" Raven growls.

This time the lightning bolt hits the water instead. "Now, begin thy magic spell." She takes a drink and gags on the water and baking soda mixture. She eventually is able to swallow the nasty tasting concoction. She drops the empty glass as the room starts to spin. This is accomplished by having Mystique stand on a stable piece of the stage while the rest is rotating. Pietro starts off slowly and increases to a run. Soon, Mystique is very dizzy.

She gasps for air. She shifts her hair to turn it white. Her hands shift into an old lady's complete with warts. "Look, my hands!"

"Who's got the warts now? Huh? Huh?" Mini Toad exclaims. At Raven and Lightning's glares, he quickly adds, "Okay, shutting up now."

The camera focuses on her shadow as she shifts into the rest off the peddler's disguise. Her voice changes as she says, "My voice, my voice!" She cackles evilly while hiding her hideous new face behind the sleeve of her new peddler's cloak. The room stops spinning and Pietro falls over, completely dizzy. "A perfect disguise!" she exclaims, moving her arm and revealing her hideousness to the IAR Raven, who jumps and falls into the plastic skull. Her eyes are like saucers, large and out of place. Her nose is hooked with one wart, right on top. Her mouth opens in a huge grin, where only one tooth is hanging on for dear life. She looks dreadful.

Rogue shudders and whispers to Gambit, "Oh, look Remy, her face matches her heart."

Gambit stifles a laugh and just puts his arm around Rogue, who pretends not to notice.

The IAR Raven peeks out of the skull. It's beck pops through the nose hole and one eye stares out of the eye hole in the plastic skull.

Mystique pulls another book from the bookshelf. "And now a special soft of death for one so fair." She starts flipping through the pages muttering as she goes, until she finds the perfect spell. "Aah!"

This scares the poor IAR Raven again and it jumps back, skull and all.

"The poisoned apple." She begins to read, "Sleeping Death. One taste of the poisoned apple and the victims eyes will close forever in the Sleeping Death."

The camera focuses on her evil smirk.

"And cut." Lightning calls.

"I hate to admit it, but Mystique actually did an okay job. . ." Raven says lightly.

"That's because she's scared of you," her boyfriend reminds her.

"Who isn't?" Raven says, grinning evilly.

"Hey, the special effects rocked!" Jaime says.

Raven pats him on the top of the head. Jaime hates that, as much as every kid hates being condescended too. "Thank you, Little one." She says.

"Ah thought ya didn't like kids?" Rogue tells her.

"I don't," she says with an even eviler grin. "I thought you and Gambit weren't dating." She says nodding her head at his arm, which is still around her.

"Oh, brotheh," Rogue says and shakes his arm off. "We ain't."

"Remy beg ta differ, cherie."

"Fer the last time, Ah ain't your darlin'!" Rogue shouts.

"Yeah, right," half the crew says.

"Help me!" Scott screams from his place on the hook. "The synchronized sentences are killing me," he screams into the phone. There is a click and it's obvious the therapist has hung up.

"Well, so much for that," Xavier says to Magneto.

"Indeed," in the answer.

"Hey, shouldn't we get him down?" Logan asks.

Raven thinks about it, "Nah, let's just leave him."

Everyone shrugs and leaves. We'll go too, and leave Scott hanging.

* * *

A/N: I hope you enjoyed that one. A little shorter than the last few. Okay, so here's the deal. Due to the lovely Hurricane Rita (sarcasm here folks), my life is about to get even more chaotic. My in-laws are appearing at my doorstop tonight and I don't know how long they are going to stay. This means, I won't get a chance to write the next chapter of Rogue White for a little while because, they are going to be here 90 of the time. And so, no writing down notes during Snow White or any other Parody that happens to be on VHS (Thumbelina and Labyrinth). . . ugh. Forgive me, but I can't control the weather. If they are too long, and I have no time to watch the movies at all, I'll try looking up a script on the net or skipping to Pirates of the Caribbean, which I have on DVD and can watch in my room. Ugh, so much for privacy. Lol. But, I'd rather have no privacy then attend the funeral of my children's grandparents. 

Please review. . .


	8. Scene 7: Silly Song Night

**Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men or the other cast of X-Men Evolution. I do not own Snow White either. I've heard rumors about Marvel and Disney. . . I do own Raven and Lightning.**

* * *

Reviews: 

To sheisbeautiful-sheisnotme: Thank you very much. Okay, first off, yes. Rogue and Remy both now that Raven is their daughter. But they also know that Raven and Lightning are time-travellers from another dimension. So, what happened in Raven's dimension might not necessarily happen in this one. That's why they "aren't" dating. Well, that depends on who you ask. Remy will tell you they are dating and about the secret kiss in the coach, Rogue will tell you she hates his cajun guts and they are definitely NOT dating. And then Jean will come along and flirt with him and immediately Rogue is acting like they ARE dating. So, everyone just assumes that they are dating and that Rogue is having a hard time dealing with the issue. As for Rita. Fortunately, my in-laws decided to move to CO. And now I can breathe, but I'm moving and pregnant. ha. Such fun. . . sarcasm there.

To Cat2Fat900: I laugh because it's hilarious! Well, she should, but that wouldn't be as much fun to write. Lol. Well, here are the copies of Pietro's pictures. The note? Probably Logan, no doubt. Lol. Black food coloring. You might be able to find some about now. As much as I hate All Hallow's Eve, you can probably find a bunch of Black and Orange everything. I don't know which scream is more girlly. . .Pietro's or Scott's. Yeah, Rogue is pretending a lot of things lately isn't she? Lol. Well, it that situation. . . wouldn't you? Lol. Thank you very much! SFWD!

A/N: (taps foot) Only two reviews? Where have all my loyal reviewers gone? Huh? Looks like I may need to borrow CF's squirrels. What follows is about the only part in SW that I can tolerate. Sorry this took so long. Moving while you're pregnant is awful.

This story is dedicated to **Kyo-Kitty**, for inspiring it. Thank you. . .

* * *

And now, Raven and Lightning present . . . 

Rogue White and the Seven Mutants.

Scene 7: Silly Song Night.

Scott's voice is hoarse from screaming for help. He can barely speak. He sighs with relief when Raven and Lightning walk in.

"He's still hanging there? We should let him down." Lightning tells her.

Raven sighs. "I suppose so." She uses her telekinesis to lift Scott and set him on the floor.

Scott kisses the floor and tries to say thank you, but his voice is too hoarse. Raven just shrugs and proceeds to cover a jelly donut in cayenne pepper.

As everyone shows up, most of them looks disgusted at her choice of seasoning. Gambit looks like he might try to steal a bite, so she tosses the cayenne to him and he gets his own donut just before Fred reaches the table.

After the donut feast is over, Raven decides to start the play with her usual "Lights! Camera! Action!"

Music comes from the little cottage. The IAR animals and Rahne are all gathered around the window watching as the shrunken mutants dance and yodel. Rogue is sitting on a miniature chair daintily and clapping her hands. Evan and Kitty dance around. Beast is playing the bass. Kurt is playing the accordion. Raven, Lightning, Logan and Sabretooth are all wearing ear plugs again. The music is terrible seeing that neither Beast nor Kurt know how to play the particular instruments they're playing. Tabby starts to yodel as Evan watches her neck move.

"Why do you have to be such a creep!" she says belting him across the head.

Raven clears her throat. "Stick to the script."

Tabby rolls her eyes and continues to yodel.

Toad is playing a rather strange looking pipe organ.

Kitty comes to stand in front of Rogue and says, "I'd, like, totally like to, like, dance and tap my feet, but they, like, won't stay in rhythm. You see, I, like, washed them both today, and I, like, totally can't do nothing with them."

And the rest of the shrunken mutants start to sing, "Ho hum, the tune is dumb. . ." and the song goes on to say how the words don't mean anything and how silly the song is. Kitty tap dances and Evan starts playing the drums. He accidentally lets loose several spikes and the hit the drum and bounce through one sleeve and out the other. Everyone ducks and they get stuck in the wall.

Kitty and Tabby drag Kurt into the middle of the room. "I. . ." Kurt begins, but he gets to bashful and says, "Oh gosh," while playing with his tail.

Toad plays a horrible note that gets Kurt to say his part.

"I chased a polecat (1) up a tree, vay out upon a limb, and vhen he got ze best of me, I got ze vorst of him." Kurt says and then blushes. You can almost see the blush through his fur.

The shrunken mutants start singing the chorus again. Evan plays a cymbal and then places it on his head like a Chinese hat and walks off sideways. Everyone on the set and off it rolls their eyes. Kitty begins to yodel. She's been taking lessons from Piotr, supposedly taking lessons anyway. What they were actually doing is up for grabs. Rogue begins to sing along.

Jean yawns from shear boredom. She's holding a recorder like instrument. The IAR fly flies into her mouth during the yawn and back out again. Jean sees it and gets angry. She starts swatting at it.

Beast drags Rogue to the dance floor. All the while, Rogue is glaring at the directors because they know she hates dances. Raven and Lightning both just shrug at her, grinning evilly. Rogue dances around with Beast, Kurt and Tabby, while Kitty has taken over the bass. She not much better than Beast at it either.

Forge decides the IAR fly has had enough of Jean and makes it land on Evan's ear. Evan tries to swat it, but hits the cymbal instead. Forge finds a way to make Evan play better and lands the fly on top of the drums that Evan needs to hit. Finally, he lands it on Jean's nose again. She reaches for something, anything to swat it with. Evan hands her a cymbal. She brings the cymbal down hard. But the IAR fly flies off in time and Jean only hits herself in the face and looks extremely disoriented.

Rogue bursts out laughing. "That has gotta be the funniest thing Ah've seen in a long time!"

Kitty and most of the other cast are laughing too.

Raven has an amused look on her face for a time, but then tries to settle everyone down. "Okay, people. I think we've all wallowed in Jean's humiliation long enough."

Lightning continues, "There's still a play to get on."

Rogue begins to dance with Kitty, Beast and Kurt while Gambit looks slightly jealous from off stage.

Evan climbed up on Tabby's head. "And why can't I be on the bottom?" he asks.

"Because you're a perve, that's why!" Tabby growls at him. She starts to make a fake sneeze and Evan stops it with his foot. "Thanks. Ugh," she groans. "Do you ever wash those?"

"That's enough Tabby." Raven calls. "Evan bashing time is over for now. The next scheduled time block is 9:15 am EST."

"Oh, I better mark that on my planner." Everyone on the set, besides Raven, Lightning, and Evan, pull out personal planners and mark the time.

Getting back to the play, a very angry Evan pulls a coat around him and Tabby. They head toward the dance floor. Evan, looking stupid, with his tongue hanging out and snapping his fingers, while Tabby walks and peeks through the jacket. They head towards Rogue. Rogue curtsies and Evan tries to bow, but starts to fall over, Tabby saves him by reaching up and grabbing his butt. Rogue dances with them.

The music abruptly ends as Tabby begins to sneeze. All the shrunken mutants, Rahne, and the IAR animals hide while Evan tries to stop the sneeze frantically. Eventually, being stupid, Evan tries to stop the sneeze by putting a finger under his own nose. Of course, that doesn't work and Tabby sneezes, making a time bomb that lifts Evan up in the air.

The coat comes down around Tabby and she looks adorable. All the shrunken mutants, Rahne, and the IAR animals laugh and comes out of hiding. Rogue sits down laughing. Evan is stuck up on a rafter. He wiggles his ears and All the shrunken mutants, Rahne, and the IAR animals laugh harder, mostly because Evan is stuck up on the rafter. He slides down a decorative beam, getting splinters along the way. All the shrunken mutants, Rahne, and the IAR animals laugh at him again.

Rogue calms down and says, "That was fun."

"Now you, like, do something," Kitty says.

"Well," Rogue asks, "What shall Ah do?"

"Tell us a story," Jean says with a bored yawn.

"Yes, a story," the shrunken mutants say. Scott, begins to sob profusely.

"Like, a true story," Kitty adds.

"A love story," Kurt adds.

Rogue thinks, but gets an idea, "Well, once there was a princess."

"Was the princess you?" Beast asks.

Rogue nods, "And she fell in love." She is staring straight at Remy, though she doesn't think anyone is noticing, when in fact, everyone on the set notices.

"Was is hard to do?" Tabby asks.

Rogue laughs, "Oh, it was very easy," she says rather truthfully. "Anyone could see that the Prince was charmin'. The only one fer me." She's still staring at Gambit, who is staring straight back with a smirk on his face.

Beast asks, "Was he strong and handsome?"

"Was he big and tall?" Tabby asks.

With a far away look in her eyes, Rogue answers, "There's nobody like him, anywhere at all."

Kurt asks, "Did he say he loved you?"

"Did he, like, steal a kiss?" Kitty asks.

Rogue starts to sing, "He was so romantic, Ah could not resist. . ." She sings about how one day, her prince will come and take her away to his castle where they'll be happy forever.

The shrunken mutants all sit in a circle and listen to her sing, except for Toad, who is hiding behind the strange looking pipe organ with a, "Hmph, mush." The IAR animals and Rahne snuggle. Rahne is slightly nervous, of course because every once in a while, one of them sparks and smoke start to billow out. The shrunken mutants sigh and suddenly the cuckoo clock goes off.

Rogue stops singing and looks at the clock. She stands up. "Oh my goodness! It's past bedtime." She starts shooing the shrunken mutants up the stairs. "Go right upstairs ta bed."

They all start up the stair with Evan in the lead. Beast grabs Evan's shirt and says, "Wait! Hold on men." He shoves Evan back. Evan hits the wall with his head. He stands up rubbing it.

Raven grins and tells Beast, "Excellent addition to the script, carry on."

"The Princess will sleep in our beds upstairs." Beast tells the shrunken mutants.

"But," Rogue protests, "where will y'all all sleep?"

"Oh," Beast continues, "We'll be quite comfortable down here in a, um, in a . . ."

"In a pig's eye!" Toad grumbles.

"In a pig's eye, sty, No! No!" Beast says, getting frustrated. "I mean, we'll be comfortable. Won't we men?"

All the shrunken mutants besides Toad and Evan answer, "Oh yes, mighty comfortable." Scott starts beating his head against a brick wall.

Evan spies the only pillow on a bench.

"Now, Beast tells Rogue, "don't you worry about us. We'll be alright, mam, Go right on up now."

Evan lies down on the bench, cuddled up with the pillow.

"Well. . ." Rogue says sceptically, "if y'all insist. Good night." She heads up the stairs.

"Good night, Princess," they answer. Scott's head is starting to bleed and he passes out. Logan rolls his eyes and bandages his head.

Rogue reaches the top of the stairs, trying very hard not to laugh at Scott. "You're sure y'all'll be comfortable?"

"Oh yes, very comfortable," they all say at the same time. Scott wakes up just at that moment and starts bawling again.

"Well," Rogue says. "Pleasant dreams."

"Pleasant dreams," the shrunken mutants say. Scott's hoarse scream is heard throughout the building.

Rogue goes into the bedroom and burst out laughing.

As soon as the door is closed, all the shrunken mutants rush to the pillow. Evan tries to hold on, but they grab it and pull it in several directions at once. "Let go." one of them say. Out of the seven of them, only Evan and Beast are not pulling on the pillow.

Beast tries to calm them down, unsuccessfully, by saying, "Now, men. Don't get excited. Share and share alike." The pillow is being stretched to it's limits. "Look out! It's gonna rip!"

And that's when the pillow _does_ rip. Feathers and shrunken mutants go flying. Evan grabs a feather and uses it as a pillow and soon he falls asleep.

The camera cuts to the upstairs bedroom where Rogue is praying. "Bless the seven little mutants who have been so kind ta me and may my dreams come true. Amen," she finishes her prayer and starts to stand, but remembers one more thing. "Oh yes, and please make Toady like me."

The camera cuts back downstairs to the kettle, where Toad is laying. "Hmph, women!" he huffs and tries to settle down, but there's something under him. He pulls out a spoon. "A fine kettle of fish!" He spits on the dimming fire and it glows brighter.

Snores are heard coming from around the room. Toad looks over at Kurt, asleep in a drawer and then up to Kitty, who is curled up in a cupboard.

Piotr smiles, off stage and whispers to Gambit, "She looks just like a little angel."

"Mon ami, Remy believe you got it pretty bad."

Raven glares at them and they stop.

Beast is curled up in the sink where water drops in his mouth and makes his gargle. Tabby is sleeping on the bench, using Evan's butt as a pillow. Evan has a dream and starts whimpering like a dog and shaking. Tabby sits up and pokes him. He settles down and Tabby fluffs his butt and lays back down. Jean is asleep on the log pile and the IAR fly lands on her nose. She flicks it and goes back to sleep. The IAR fly lands on her nose again and goes to sleep.

The camera cuts to outside the dark cottage.

"And cut!" Lightning calls.

Mini Tabby runs to the bathroom to throw up. She comes out in tears. Amara goes and picks her up. "It's okay, Tabs."

"They made me touch Evan's butt!"

"I know. I know. We'll get you the best consolers out there." Amara says softly.

"Better yet," Raven tells her. "I'll just erase it from your memory."

"You can do that?" Mini Tabby questions.

"Uh huh. Raven will make it all better."

"Okay. Do it!" Tabby says.

"Hey, it wasn't that bad was it?" Mini Evan whines.

"Yes!" the entire cast and crew shouts.

Scott passes out again and we shall leave about now.

* * *

A/N: Well, in-laws are gone, and all's well, except my TV broke, don't worry, I have another one, but I'm moving so expect things to get a little strange with me for a while. 

Next up. . . The apple.

Please review. . .


	9. Scene 8: The Apple

**Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men or the other cast of X-Men Evolution. I do not own Snow White either. I've heard rumors about Marvel and Disney. . . I do own Raven and Lightning.**

* * *

Reviews:

To sheisbeautiful-sheisnotme: Thank you very much. You're very welcome. :) Sorry, but I can't write down the entire song because it's against the rules. Thanks again!

To heartsyhawk: Thank you so much for the review, the squirrels will forgive you. Lol. Glad you are enjoying it. Yes, poor, poor, Tabby. . .

To Cat2Fat900: Too Lazy to login? Lol. Thanks for reminding me. Lol. (points and laughs at Jean) It's just so much fun. Lol. Poor little Tabby, but it called for it in the movie. Poor, poor, Tabby. . . (Thanks for letting me borrow the squirrels)

To Romy13: Thank you very much

A/N: (Four is so much better than two. :) Up to 40 reviews now. Yea! Not bad for a story that's a parody of a movie that I don't even like. I'm sorry it took so long, but October's been a hard month and November's not looking much better. . . Please review cause it cheers me up.

This story is dedicated to **Kyo-Kitty**, for inspiring it. Thank you. . .

* * *

And now, Raven and Lightning present . . .

Rogue White and the Seven Mutants.

Scene 8: The Apple.

Scott's voice has once again returned to normal. Mini Jean is holding his hand tightly and trying to convince him to stop sucking his thumb. "No! I won't! They'll just do it again!"

"Do what again?" Raven and Lightning ask as they walk out of the shadows.

"That! That! Anything but that!" he screams and starts sucking harder, while Lightning laughs.

"We are so cruel, aren't we?" Lightning grins at his love.

"Oh, but it's so much fun," she answers grinning just as evilly.

About that time, Mini Tabby wanders in having completely forgotten the incident from the day before.

"Ah see you're feeling betteh" Rogue says. She and Gambit have just wandered in after having had coffee together at Rogue's favorite coffee hut. Gambit payed, but according to Rogue, it was _not_ a date.

"Huh?" Mini Tabby asks. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Rogue!" Raven calls, smiling. "I have something for you."

"What?" she says, taking a brown sack out of Raven's hand. She opens it and looks inside, somewhat scared. "Wax lips?" she asks, "What in the world, do I need wax lips for?"

"Well," Raven says. "You don't really want to kiss Evan and Toad's head, do you?"

"No. . ."

"Fine then, use the wax lips." Lightning grins at her.

"Ugh," Rogue groans.

"Okay, let's get started!" Lightning shouts.

"Lights! Camera! Action!" Raven calls.

The scene opens to find Mystique, as the hag, dipping a yellow and orange apple into a big simmering pot. "Dip the apple in the brew," she says. "Let the Sleeping Death seep through." She pulls the apple out of the pot and the poison covers it in a thick green slime that strangely resembles Toad's slime. Then, thanks to the magic of Pietro, the apple suddenly looks like a strange jock-o-lantern with a black apple and a green slime skull covering. "Look!" Mystique tells the IAR raven. "On the skin, the symbol of what lies within. Now, turn red to tempt Rogue White," and Pietro switches the apple with a red one, "to make her hunger for a bite."

She begins to laugh evilly, and turns to the IAR raven, pushing the apple towards it, "Have a bite?"

The IAR raven begins to get scared and tries to escape.

"It's not for you," she says almost sweetly. "It's for Rogue White. When she breaks the tender peel, to taste the apple in my hand, her breath will still, her blood congeal. Then, I'll be fairest in the land!" She laughs incredibly evilly this time and then stops suddenly. "But wait!" Her eyes shift back and forth and back and forth. "There may be an antidote! Nothing must be overlooked." She walks back over to the book and flips through some pages. "Oh! Here it is!"

On the page is the title, "Poison Apple Antidote."

Mystique begins to read along, "The victim of the Sleeping Death can be revived only by love's first kiss. Love's first kiss. Bah!" she says, slamming the book shut. "No fear of that. The mutants will think she's dead. She'll be buried alive." She starts cackling madly and the IAR raven hides behind the plastic skull. She sits the apple on the top of a basket of other apples. She pats the apple and picks up the basket, still laughing. She heads down a trap door. "Buried alive!" she shouts one last time at the IAR raven and continues down the stairs where a skeleton, which oddly resembles Duncan Matthews, is reaching for a long empty pitcher. "Thirsty?" she asks the skeleton. "Have a drink!" She kicks the pitcher into the skeleton, making his bones scatter. Then, she heads into a gondola-type boat and paddles off into the night. She reaches a bank and wanders off into the woods.

The scene changes back to the cottage where the IAR animals and Rahne are sleeping. They wake up when they hear the door open. Beast walks out, followed by Rogue. "Now, don't forget, my dear, the, the old queen's a sly one, full of witchcraft. So beware of strangers."

"Don't worry," Rogue tells him, bending down to his level. "Ah'll be alright." She stands up, places the wax lips in her mouth, lifts up Beast's hat, and "kisses" his head. She takes out the wax lips. "See ya tonight."

Beast gets all fumbled up and confused. "Yes, well," then, trying to sound manly, "Come on, men." He stomps off in a rather overly manly stomp. Off stage, Gambit can barely suppress his giggles.

Kurt, seeing this, takes off his hat and walks shyly up to his sister. "Be awful careful, cause if anyzing should happen to you, I, I, . . ." he stammers.

Meanwhile, Rogue has replaced the wax lips. She bends down and "kisses" his forehead. "Goodbye," she says after removing the wax lips.

He pretends to blush. "Oh, gosh. . ."

The other shrunken mutants are watching from the door way. "Disgusting," Toad says, turning away.

Tabby is the next to come to Rogue. She's holding her hat as well. "And be sure to watch out, to watch, to wa, to wa!" She pretends to be about to sneeze. She holds her finger under her nose. Rogue replaces the wax lips and "kisses" Tabby's forehead. "Thanks," Tabby says and proceeds to walk away, still trying to hold in the sneeze.

Evan comes to Rogue, without his hat on and pulls on her skirt. He has his lips puckered up, in want of her kiss. Just then Tabby sneezes and creates a time bomb that blows Evan away. Rogue laughs and Evan returns. Rogue grabs his ears with her gloved hands and pulls his head down. Still wearing the wax lips, she "kisses" his head and he looks like he's on cloud nine. He walks off dreamily. Jean is next in line, walking up without her hat. Evan gets and idea. He climbs back in the window.

Rogue pats Jean on the head as Evan returns. She laughs at his stupidity and says, "Alright," she replaces the wax lips and then bends his head down with his ears and "kisses" his forehead, "but that is the last. . ." She looks around because Evan has disappeared. He shows up again and she finishes her sentence, "one." She pushes him on his way. "Go on, get outa here," she says a little harshly.

He runs off and then the mutants begin singing, "Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go."

Toad is looking in the mirror. He cleans his forehead and replaces his hat. He stomps off to the porch, removing his hat. Rogue is waving goodbye to the other mutants. He clears his throat. "Goodbye! Goodbye!" she calls, not paying attention. He clears his throat again.

She turns around in surprise to see Toad, stomping in place, holding his hat and telling her, "Now, I'm warning you, yo! Don't let nobody or nothing in the house."

"Why, Toady! Ya do care!" she says, and proceeds to grab a hold of the grumpy little frog and plants a wax lip kiss on his forehead while he struggles. He stomps off angrily, replacing his hat and as he does, his stomp grows lighter and his face softens. He turns and looks at her with a dreamy look on his face. Rogue laughs and blows him a kiss. He smiles at her for a second and then turns grumpy again and stomps off. In good time too, because, watching from off stage, Gambit is starting to feel a little jealous. Toad is walking so haughtily that he isn't watching where he's going and gets his nose stuck in a tree.

He pulls it out and says, "hmph!" and goes on his unmerry way, right into the creek. He tries to stand up but hits his head on the bridge and falls back into the water.

He stands up more carefully this time and walks off while Rogue calls, "Goodbye, Toady!"

The scene changes to one of Mystique crossing a stream. Two IAR buzzards watch her intently. "The little mutants will be away and she'll be alone with a harmless old peddler woman." She laughs evilly as the IAR buzzards get evil grins on their beaks. "A harmless old peasant woman," she repeats. The IAR buzzards follow her.

The scene changes again to one of Rogue making gooseberry pies. She's rolling the dough for the top pie crust and singing about Remy. And IAR bluebird gets some sugar on it's tail and dumps it on the dough.

"That is so gross," Kitty whines.

"Yeah, I mean, who would eat something with the germs from that bird all in it. . ." Tabby agrees with her.

All the other girls agree quickly and most of the boys too.

"What's wrong with that?" Toad says.

"Yeah, Toad eats worse stuff than that all the time," Fred exclaims.

"Thank you, Blob and Toad." Lightning says, "Just what everyone on this set wanted to hear."

"The only thing _I _want to hear is the play!" Raven groans. Her eyes are glowing and she looks rather frightening at the moment.

Rogue continues her singing. She stops rolling the dough and places it on top of a pie. She finds a knife and cuts off the excess dough. Two IAR birds grab the cut-off dough and two other IAR birds land on the rim of the pie. They hop on the rim to make the marking in the rim, while the other two IAR birds spell out the name Toady with the excess dough on the pie. Rogue eyes the pie as her song finishes and a shadow appears, scaring her.

Or perhaps what really scares her is the hag in the window making the shadow. The hag starts laughing. "All alone, my pet?"

"Why yes, Ah am, but. . ." Rogue answers unwisely.

"The, uh, little mutants, aren't here?" Mystiques asks.

"Why, no, they're not, but. . ." Rogue says, "man, this is so stupid!"

"Rogue!" Lightning and Raven call.

Scott screams, "Professor, save me!"

Professor Xavier rolls his eyes.

The play continues, as Mystique grins and sniffs the air. "Making pies?"

Rogue starts to relax. "Yes, gooseberry pies."

"It's apple pies that makes the mutants' mouths water," she pulls up her basket and grabs the poisoned apple. "Pies made from apples, like these." The IAR animals and Rahne suddenly take notice.

"Oh," Rogue says, looking intently at the juicy red apple in Mystique's hand. "they do look delicious."

"Yes, but wait 'til you taste one." The IAR buzzards lean closer. "Like to try one? Go on. Go on, have a bite."

Rogue is about to grab it, when the IAR birds all start attacking Mystique. She drops the poison apple and starts batting them away. Rogue runs out to shoo them away. "Stop it! Stop it! Go away! Go away!" Rogue tells the IAR birds, who listen to her. "Shame on you! Frightening a poor old lady!"

Mystique looks frantically for the apple and spies it. She picks it up and rubs it against her sleeve. She pretends to be very frightened indeed.

Rogue places a hand on her arm. "There, there, Ah'm sorry."

Mystique grins. "Oh! My heart! Oh, my poor heart. Take me into the house and let me rest, please."

And Rogue leads her into the house and sets her into a chair. The IAR animals run to the window and watch. Rogue pumps some water into a ladle while Mystique grins evilly at the red apple. The IAR animals get frightened and rush off through the woods.

The shrunken mutants have just arrived at the mine and are still singing, "hi ho, hi ho!" They dump they're pick axes into a cart and start pulling it towards the mine. Beast is in the lead, and Jean is pushing it from behind. Evan, being slow, arrives after they've started pulling and pushes Jean's butt into the air. She looks up in surprise. Before she can react, Beast stops and cries out, "Look!" All the mutants run into him. The IAR animals and Rahne are running hurriedly towards them. They start poking and pulling at the mutants. They try to shoo them off, but to no avail. The IAR deer is pushing Beast. What ails these crazy critters?" he says.

"Zey've gone plum daft!" Kurt says.

"Yeah, they've. . ." Tabby starts, but ends up sneezing and making a time bomb that blows the IAR critters away and a few of them to smithereens.

"I worked hard on those," Forge whines.

"Forge," Raven growls, "shut up."

"Shutting up."

The scene changes back to the cottage where Mystique is telling Rogue, "and because you've been so good to poor old granny, I share a secret with you." She starts walking towards Rogue, who backs up. "This is no ordinary apple. It's a magic wishing apple."

"A wishin' apple?" Rogue asks.

"Yes. One bite, and all your dreams will come true."

"Really?"

"Yes, girlie. Now, make a wish and take a bite."

The scene changes back to the IAR animals and the mutants. Jean is the only one the IAR animals aren't messing with. She's been sleeping inside the cart which has long since been turned on it's side. Yawning, she says, "Maybe the old queen's got Rogue White."

"The Queen! Rogue White!" the mutants call out. Scott curls up in the fetal position on Professor Xavier's lap and starts sucking on his thumb again.

"Help me," the professor mouths to Magneto.

"The Queen will kill her!" Toad says. "We've got to save her, yo!"

"Yes, yes, we, we've, we've got to save her!" Beast says.

"She'll kill her!" Tabby cries out.

"What do we, like, do?" ask Kitty.

"Yes, yes, what do we do?" Beast asks.

"Come on!" Toad hollers and starts back to the cottage, riding and IAR deer. The others all follow on other IAR deer. The IAR turtle reaches them about them and get trampled.

Back at the cottage, Mystique continues walking towards Rogue, who is backed against a wall. "There must be something you're little heart desires. Perhaps there's someone you love?"

"Well, there is someone," Rogue says, smiling at Remy.

"I thought so, I thought so. Old Granny knows a young girl's heart. Now, take the apple, deary, and make a wish." She places the apple into Rogue's hands.

"Ah wish, Ah wish. . ." Rogue begins.

"That's it, go on!" Mystique tells her.

The IAR animals, Rahne and the shrunken mutants are rushing over a giant fallen log, sliding down a hill and jumping over a canyon.

Back at the cottage, Rogue is finishing her wish, ". . .And that he will carry me away ta his castle, where we will live happily eveh afteh."

"Fine, fine! Now, take a bite!" Mystique orders.

The IAR animals, Rahne and the shrunken mutants are hurrying through the forest.

"Don't let the wish grow cold." Mystique warns.

Rogue takes a big bite. "Oh, Ah feel strange."

The camera focuses on Mystique who whispers, "Her breath will still." Rogue is having trouble breathing. "Her blood congeal." Rogue falls on the floor and the apple falls out of her hand. Mystique starts laughing. Thanks to Storm, lightning strikes. "Now, I'll be fairest in the land!"

"And cut!" Raven calls. She sighs with relief.

"Oh come on," Lightning says.

"Don't start." she growls.

"But. . ."

"No buts!"

Remy has rushed to Rogue to help her up. She smiles as she accepts his help and thinks that no one is watching.

"Okay, that was cute." Raven says grinning.

"They're, like, so cute together." Mini Kitty tells Piotr.

"Da." he agrees.

"Rogue and Gambit, sitting in a tree," laughs Jubilee and Amara. Scott cries.

Rogue looks at Remy. Remy looks at Rogue. "Let's get 'em," she says.

"Right behind you," Remy replies, taking out his card deck.

"We better run," Jubilee says.

And so they run, with Rogue and Gambit on their tails and we will leave just now. . .

* * *

A/N: It has come to my attention that I forgot to define my number in the last chapter, so for those of you who don't know what a polecat is. . . It's a skunk.

Next up. . . The END! Finally! I'll be so happy! And you will too, because this hideous nightmare will be over and I can start another funnier parody!

**Please review. . . for I've borrowed Cat2Fat900's Evil Pyromaniac Squirrels with flaming numchucks who will come after you and beat you until you push the little review button!**


	10. Scene 9: Happily Ever After

**Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men or the other cast of X-Men Evolution. I do not own Snow White either. I've heard rumors about Marvel and Disney. . . I do own Raven and Lightning.**

* * *

A/N: For all of you who are wondering why I haven't put any review responses in this chapter. . . This time the rumors are horribly true. Review responses are no longer allowed in stories. However, those of you who have reviewed you should have gotten my reply via the new review reply system. At least they gave us that to replace our precious review responses. . . :( Since the squirrels seem to be working, I think I'll borrow them again. :D Please review!

This story is dedicated to **Kyo-Kitty**, for inspiring it. Thank you. . .

* * *

And now, Raven and Lightning present . . .

Rogue White and the Seven Mutants.

Scene 9: Happily Ever After.

Jubilee and Amara limp in followed by a rather happy looking Rogue and Gambit. The two girls in the lead stop to catch their breath. Gambit grins. "Boo." he says.

Both girls jump. "Ahh!"

Scott walks by wearing ear muffs and shivering.

Rogue shakes her head. "He's really losing it."

Mini Jean, who was right behind them, answers, "I know. . . He's been to four psychiatrists this parody alone. . ."

"Can't find one y'all like?" Rogue asks.

"Nope, can't find one that believes him. . ."

"Oh brother. . ." Rogue says, shaking her head and trying to hide the laughter.

"Rogue, Scott has a serious problem!" Mini Jean says slightly upset.

"Ah, you're just upset cause you t'ink it's funny too," Gambit says, grinning.

"Shut up!" Mini Jean says, walking decidedly away.

"Okay, peoples! Enough bickering," Raven orders, glaring at Piotr who happens to be holding Lance by the neck.

"Places everyone! Let's get this show on the road! Last scene!" Lightning calls.

A roar of joy escapes form nearly every lip. Scott, who's earmuffs aren't working very well, begins to cry.

"Lights! Camera! Action!" Raven calls and the play begins.

The scene opens as the door to the cottage opens and Mystique comes out laughing. She looks over and sees all the IAR animals, Rahne, and the Shrunken Mutants heading straight for her through the rain Storm is creating. She takes off in the opposite direction.

Toad stops his IAR buck long enough to say, "There she's goes!" and they all follow her. The IAR buzzards follow the chase eagerly.

Mystique runs through the woods, gets tangled in some vines, but keeps going.

The shrunken mutants follow quickly. They're gaining on her.

She reaches a rocky hill and begins to climb. Toad is the first to reach the hill. He climbs up and turns to the others, "Let's go! After her, yo!" He turns around and continues to climb, or rather hop, up the hill while the other climb up after him.

Mystique turns and looks behind her. Seeing the mutants, she gasps and climbs faster. She reaches a flatter place and begins to run. The shrunken mutants run after her. She reaches a taller rock and has to hold onto a branch to climb up. She gets up and begin to continue, but finds herself at the top of a very high cliff. She gasps, "Drat! What will I do? The meddling little fools!"

The IAR buzzards have caught up and land on a nearby branch. The shrunken mutants are running quickly. She has to think fast.

Amazingly, there happens to be a huge boulder and a long broken branch on the same cliff as Mystique. Forget the fact that they pretty much weren't there two seconds ago. Thank you, Pietro. The boulder happens to be those fake kind they use at the zoos. She picks up the long branch and puts it under the boulder and starts to add leverage, hoping to knock the giant boulder on top of the shrunken mutants. "I'll crush your bones, little mutants!" she shouts to them, laughing evilly.

They've reached the ledge just under her. "Look out!" Toad calls as the rock starts to move.

Just then, fate, and Storm, decide to lend a hand and a lightning bolt strikes the ground just in front of Mystique. They rocks crumble underneath her her feet. She screams as she falls backwards. The rock falls after her. The IAR buzzards watch her fall. The shrunken mutants rush to the edge of the cliff to watch her fall as well.

At the last second, Pietro saves Mystique from her death as the rock crashes into the ground. But that's only because a good shapeshifter is hard to come by, according to his father.

The mutants act as if she really if dead. "Ding dong, the witch is dead. . ." Tabby sings.

"Wrong movie, Tabitha," Raven groans.

"Oops, sorry."

The IAR buzzards begin to fly in circles over the fallen queen.

The scene changes, as soon as the costumes are dry, to the inside of the cottage, where Rogue is laying, looking very dead. Flowers and candles surround her bed. The mutants are all there, holding their hats. Off stage, Gambit is watching with a grim look on his face and moist looking eyes.

Kitty is crying. She's pretending Rogue is really dead and is nearly uncontrollable. She closes her eyes, but the tears still fall.

Jean, Tabby, and Kurt are standing together and crying as well. Jean is pretending Rogue is Scott. Pietro has squirted lemon juice in Tabby's eyes. And Kurt is crying because, well, it's his sister laying there pretending to be dead.

Toad is leaning against a chair and sobbing just as bad as Kitty, if not worse. Mainly, this is because he saw Wanda blow a kiss to John just before the scene started.

Beast is crying because Logan proved one of his theories wrong and is holding Evan who is sobbing because nobody loves him.

The IAR animals and Rahne are standing in the rain, looking in the window sadly.

The scene fades out to a board that looks like the sky with a tree in fall. The words on it read. "So beautiful, even in death, that the mutants could not find it in their hearts to bury her."

The next board has the same tree during winter and reads, "They fashioned a coffin of glass and gold, and kept eternal vigil at her side."

The next board has the same tree during spring and reads, " The Prince, who had searched far and wide, heard of the maiden who slept in the glass coffin." Remy is heard singing, "One song. . . Remy has but one song. . ." He keeps singing as the scene changes to show Rogue laying in the glass and gold coffin with flowers falling from the tree and the wax lips in her mouth. Fortunately, Forge's version of this coffin comes complete with a ventilation system so she can breathe.

The IAR animal bring flowers to surround the bottom of the coffin. The shrunken mutants come walking up slowly and sadly, carrying bouquets as well. They take the lid off the coffin and Kurt places a bouquet in her hands. Then they all back up and kneel down in sadness.

"This is ridiculous," Jean mutters.

"Be nice," Lightning warns.

Jean rolls her eyes, but proceeds to look very sad indeed.

On a hill nearby stands the singing Remy, next to the Ray and Bobby horse. He takes of a rather ridiculous feather hat. He finishes his song as he walks slowly down the hill to the coffin. The sad mutants stand and make way for the prince as he walks straight up to it. He leans down and removes the wax lips, so quickly only Rogue notices as he leans further down and kisses her lips. Then, he passes out beside the coffin.

Raven groans, "I knew this was going to happen. I knew it! I knew it!"

"Then why didn't you stop it?" Lightning asks.

Raven turns to him, eyes glowing with rage. "That was what the wax lips were for!"

"I'm just saying, if you knew he would just take them off, why didn't you just use your telepathy and stop him?" Lightning questions.

"It was a hunch! I'm not about to take over _my father's_ mind on just a hunch!" She growls.

"Yeah, well, next time you should."

"There had better not _be _a next time!"

"And how are you planning on making sure of that?" Lightning asks her, very amused.

His amusement is really bugging her. But before she can send him flying out of his chair and into a brick wall, Remy groans.

Raven comes up on the stage and leans close into Remy's ear. "If you _ever _do that again, I'll make Toad believe you're Wanda."

Remy gulps and Raven goes happily to her chair.

Remy pretends to have just kissed Rogue and he kneels down on one knee and hides his head under his arm. The mutants kneel down as well.

The IAR animals and Rahne bow their heads.

Rogue's eyes flicker open and then shut again. She stretches and yawns.

Kurt is the first one to notice. He lifts his head and his eyes open wide. The other shrunken mutants follow suit. Then, the IAR animals and Rahne notice.

Rogue sits up, still stretching. She looks around, smiling and suddenly notices Remy who is kneeling down looking very sad. He looks up and sees her alive. Sheer joy is written on his face as she reaches her arms out to him and he scoops her up into his arms. Both of them look so happy that Raven's foul mood is gone and she is suddenly happy as well.

Beast and Toad hug each other and the shrunken mutants dance around merrily. The IAR animals and Rahne join in the happy dance as Remy carries Rogue to the Ray and Bobby horse. Rogue is waving her hand at the mutants while the other one clings to Remy. He sets her up in the saddle and gives her the wax lips back.

Then he lifts up Kurt to her level and Rogue "kisses" Kurt's forehead. "Goodbye." He lift's up Toad, and she "kisses" his forehead. "goodbye, Toady." Next, Remy lifts, Beast, Tabby, and Jean. "Goodbye," she says and "kisses" each of their foreheads. Then, he lifts up Evan, who still seems to expect Rogue to kiss his lips, as he has them puckered. "Ah, Porky," she says, grabbing his ears and pulling his head down, she "kisses" his forehead. (1)

Remy then leads the horse off into the sunset. "Goodbye!" she calls, waving and blowing them a kiss.

The camera zooms in on a distant castle and then the scene changes to the book as it reads, "And they lived happily ever after."

"Cut!" Raven calls. "That's it! This play is over!"

"Hurray!" Everyone shouts.

"Well, it's about time for us to leave," Lightning announces.

"Wait!" Mini Evan calls. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

"What?" Raven shrugs, "I never forget anything."

"So, you'd just leave us like this?" Mini Beast asks.

"Hey, we aren't the ones with the shrinking machine," Lightning says, pointing at Forge.

"Oh, all right," Forge concedes as Raven and Lightning take off. He points the machine at the seven shrunken mutants and makes sure it's in the reverse mode. Then he presses the button and a ray come out and hits them. Slowly they start growing. Evan seems to grow slower than the others.

"What is with these thing!" Evan shouts.

"I told you man, it just doesn't like you."

And everyone is laughing when they are suddenly surrounded by men in SWAT-like uniforms. "DPD! Freeze!"

Scott rolls his eyes. "You missed them again. . ."

"What? Again? How in the world does this keep happening?" The one called Manning shouts.

"Maybe it's our watch. . ." another says.

"How can it be our watches?" Still another says. "They are set for every dimension there is!"

"I was just saying. . ."

"Well, don't!" Manning groans. "The Chief will have our heads. . ."

"Not to mention our badges. . ." The DPD disappear in a flash of light.

"Ah going ta go soak in a long bath. . ." Rogue groans. "No, Remy, don't even say what you're thinking. Ah'd rather kill you."

The End

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A/N: (1)Okay, No I didn't forget Kitty. In the original movie they left Happy out in the end and poor Kitty doesn't get a wax lip kiss because of it. Lol

And now, I am proud to say, this is the final chapter of Rogue White and the Seven Mutants! Wa hoo! Everyone dance now! I have changed my mind about which parody I am doing next. I still intend on doing Thumbelina, but I really need a break from kids movies and so next up on "Raven and Lightning presents. . ." is Mutants of the Caribbean! Don't look for it until after the holidays. **HAPPY THANKSGIVING!**

**Please review. . . for I've borrowed Cat2Fat900's Evil Pyromaniac Squirrels with flaming numchucks who will come after you and beat you until you push the little review button!**


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